Review: Denise Hunter’s “Barefoot Summer” Summer Sun Giveaway!

From the Back of the Book:

Barefoot-SummerMadison’s heart has been closed for years. But one summer can change everything.

In the years since her twin brother’s drowning, Madison McKinley has struggled to put it behind her. Despite the support of her close-knit family and her gratifying job as a veterinarian in their riverside town, the loss still haunts her.

To find closure, Madison sets out to fulfill her brother’s dream of winning the town’s annual regatta. But first she has to learn to sail, and fast.

Beckett O’Reilly knows Madison is out of his league, but someone neglected to tell his heart. Now she needs his help—and he’ll give it, because he owes her far more than she’ll ever know.

Madison will do anything—even work with the infamous Beckett O’Reilly—to reach her goal. And as much as she’d like to deny it, the chemistry between them is electrifying. As summer wanes, her feelings for him grow and a fledgling faith takes root in her heart.

But Beckett harbors a secret that will test the limits of their new love. Can their romance survive summer’s challenges? And will achieving her brother’s dream give Madison the peace she desperately seeks?

From Me:

This is the first Denise Hunter novel I’ve read and I really enjoyed it. I read women’s fiction primarily, so I was pleased to find Denise dealing with some deeper issues seldom addressed in typical romance. I found myself drawn to the characters on a much deeper level than just simply waiting for the romance to happen.

Denise HunterSomething else I’m seeing more often in romance novels these days is MALE main characters who have a good handle on their faith, even when they struggle with emotions and other issues. I get burnt out on female leads who fall in love with bad boys and win them over with their sweet godliness; it usually comes across as disingenuous to me. I feel strongly about men being spiritual leaders, and I think this is a wonderful trend we’re seeing in fiction, especially in romance. Women in real life too often fall for the trap that they can change or fix their men, that they can lead the man to Christ, etc., and I think it’s really unfortunate when that notion is fostered and encouraged in Christian fiction. It can happen, absolutely, but we should be encouraged to seek out men who are ALREADY rooted in their faith, otherwise  the struggle for spiritual leadership can be a major issue in a relationship. Why am I on this soapbox? Because in Barefoot Summer, Beckett is a man who has learned to put his faith in Christ FIRST, and it plays out poignantly in this story. Even as he struggles with his feelings for Madison, and his relationship with his father, his faith is constant. Kudos to you, Denise, for writing a MAN into your book.

The story itself was nice, the issues felt real, and the romance between Madison and Beckett was believable. There are some secondary stories left hanging a little awkwardly, with the obvious intention for readers to read the next book in the series, so if you prefer resolution between books like I do, this might bother you, considering the length of time between books being published. Other than that, if you’re looking for a great summer romantic read, I definitely recommend Barefoot Summer.

Keep up the good work, Denise!

NOTE: I received a copy of this book for the purpose of this review.

Denise Hunter is celebrating her new Chapel Springs Romance series with a Summer Fun Giveaway.

Enter Today – 6/10 – 6/22!
Barefoot Summer Denise Hunter Giveaway

What’s on YOUR reading list this summer?

Monday Madness!

I’m getting ready to head out of town this week to celebrate two very WONDERFUL EVENTS!

1) My friend, Dana, is marrying her friend, Rob, on Saturday, June 22nd, and I get to dress up and be a part of their special day.

Dana and Rob

2) Kevin and I will be married 25 years on June 25th!

Kevin-and-Becky-Doughty

So we’re going on a little road trip, and we’re leaving the farm in the capable hands of our children.

Needless to say, I’m a wee bit busy. B.U.S.Y. But in spite of the chaos of preparing to be gone at the height of summer propagation, when family is visiting from other parts of the world, when egg production suddenly doubles, when plumbing is iffy and air conditioners are fickle, when the house is a mess and the fridge is full of leftovers too long left over, I’m taking some time to share a few things here with you, my friends.

THIS WEEK:

Today, the lovely Lisa Wingate is visiting over at Married… With Fiction. Do go check out her post – she’s giving a little back story on her latest novel, Firefly Island.

I’m also reviewing Firefly Island today on Heather Day Gilbert’s website: Writing Beyond the Vows, so come visit us there, too.

On Wednesday, my Litfuse review of Barefoot Summer by Denise Hunter will be up – be sure to check it out as there’s a wonderful giveaway! Litfuse Publicity is awesome – they know how to take care of both authors AND readers alike!

Enter Today – 6/10 – 6/22!
Barefoot Summer Denise Hunter Giveaway

NEXT WEEK:

Monday, I’m sharing a little about marriage over at Married… With Fiction. I figure since I’ve been doing this for 25 years, I should be able to come up with a few pointers. Granted, they may be a list of things NOT to do, but if someone  can learn from my mistakes, then I’m game. Do come by and see what I come up with. Who knows? I may even have Kevin write it….

And Tuesday, June 25th, is THE DAY! I won’t be sharing with anyone but my beloved champion, Kevin, but as we’ll be traveling, we would greatly appreciate your prayers and best wishes for a wonderful day spent together. By the way, I LOVE that guy. LOVE. HIM.

I’ll be back by the end of next week, in time to post my Litfuse review of The Quarryman’s Daughter by Tracie Peterson on Thursday, June 27th, and then to welcome Diane and David Munson here on Friday, the 28th, to share their own tips on investing in marriage. Good stuff, people. Good stuff.

Because I’m going to be gone, I may not get to your comments until I return. Please know that I appreciate EVERY SINGLE ONE, and am looking forward to reading them when I can sit in my favorite chair with my favorite coffee in my favorite blue mug in my favorite room in this place we call home.

Grace and peace to you, my friends.

Becky

Elderberry Croft: Part 6

June Melody

Elderberry Croft Home

Welcome to Elderberry Croft

A Serial Book Written in Twelve Monthly Episodes

The residents of The Coach House Trailer Park are just as run-down as the park itself. In fact, they’ve all come here to die. Then one day, on a crisp January breeze, Willow Goodhope sweeps into the neighborhood. She moves into the lonely little shack on the other side of the driveway, bringing her potted plants, her Elderberry gifts, and her outrageous laughter. The Coach House residents can’t resist her charm as she breathes new life into hardened hearts, but there’s something about Willow, a terrible sadness that hovers at the back of her enigmatic eyes, and it has everyone talking, wondering, worrying. Kathy overhears her sobbing in her kitchen. Doc catches her burning letters in her fire pit. Myra swears she drinks alone out on her patio in the middle of the night. Patti knows the beautiful girl is after her husband, and Eddie and Donny, forever-feuding brothers, are competing to see who can make her smile first, even though they’re both fairly sure she’d prefer her men with real jobs, real homes, and real teeth. What–or who–is haunting the mysterious Willow Goodhope of Elderberry Croft? Will her new “family” be able to rescue her before it’s too late?

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Part 1: January Breeze

Part 2: February Embers

Part 3: March Whispers

Part 4: April Shadows

Part 5: May Enchantment

Part 6: June Melody

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Chapter 1

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 elderberry-croft-june-melody

The air conditioner began to rattle loudly in the window, and Myra Cordova crossed the room to thump on it with her scrawny fist. Once, twice, a third time, then it acquiesced, slipping back with a hiccup into a grumbling murmur. Eventually, if Myra lived much longer, the unit would have to be replaced.

“I bet I’m going to go before you do,” she grouched, as she made her way back to the stove where she’d been stirring up a batch of fudge. The boys were coming over this afternoon, as they always did, for a game of poker, and she expected Al would be bringing his sweet tooth with him, just as he always did, too. Usually, she opened a box of chocolates, or on a good day, made oatmeal cookies, or a brownie mix, but today, she was trying a new butter pecan fudge recipe from Willow Goodhope.

At the beginning of the month, Myra came down with a bug so bad, she’d been incapacitated for almost two weeks. Everyone in the park knew about it, she made sure of that, but besides Jack, who stopped by daily to check on her, rain or shine, in sickness and in health, til death parted them, only Kathy defied Myra’s self-inflicted quarantine to bring her clam chowder, Hawaiian sweet rolls, and the latest gossip rag from the supermarket. Kathy scoffed at the sign hanging from her front door, the words written with a pitifully shaky hand: “I’m very ill. Please protect yourself and stay away.”

“You’re such a hypochondriac, silly. You just have the flu.”

“You’ll be more sympathetic when you end up sick like I am,” Myra moaned, repositioning herself on the sofa so her pathetic state could be noted, and taken seriously by anyone who came to the front door. Having the flu on top of all her other ailments was tantamount to signing her death warrant, but if she had to die, she wanted to go with a clear conscience, knowing she’d done everything in her power to steer people clear of harm’s way.

“Just eat your soup, drink your water, and get some rest. In fact, you really should go to bed where you can sleep without interruption.” Kathy nodded her head in the direction of the short hallway that led back to Myra’s pink bedroom.

“Oh no, Kathy-la. If I go back there to sleep, I won’t hear anyone come to the door. Then people will worry, and then they’ll think something bad happened to me, then they’ll knock down my door, thinking my time has come, then—”

“Myra! Stop! You’re getting all worked up over nothing.” Kathy made a face, and Myra scowled back. Why did her friend always roll her eyes at her?

“You have a sign on the door that makes it pretty obvious you’re sick. You called everyone in the park to let them know, too, didn’t you?” Kathy paused, waiting for a response, but Myra just harrumphed and stared through the screened door, not wanting to be made fun of today. Especially not while she was sick.

Myra knew everyone thought she was just a silly old lady, but without her, this place would fall into shambles. She cleaned for Eddie when either of the apartments in the main building of the Coach House came up for rent, when Space #12, Willow’s place now, was between renters, and she kept the laundry shed swept and lint free. She did laundry for Al, for Doc, even for Kathy when she wasn’t feeling up to snuff. She cooked big pots of soup or chili during the winter—usually canned, but no one complained—and made certain she had assorted treats for the gang who gathered on her front porch all summer long. She was the first one people called when they needed a listening ear, a cup of sugar, or an extra roll of toilet paper. She knew the names and numbers of every Coach House resident, she knew the names of their pets, and she made a point to keep track of the comings and goings of everyone in the park, not because she was nosy, but because she didn’t want anyone to be neglected.

Myra hated to gossip venomously, but keeping each other informed was a complete different story. That’s what family did, and she thought of the folks here, both those she knew well, and those she knew through fleeting conversations at the mailbox, as her extended family. When one was sick, or sad, or happy, Myra made it her job to show up with soup, chocolate, or boxed wine, whichever best suited the circumstances.

And because Myra really liked her Sangria, circumstances usually called for boxed wine.

Now she was finally feeling better, but between the suffocating June heat outside, and the cantankerous air conditioner sitting like a squat old lady in the window, she was thirsty. She opened the fridge, held her dime-store tumbler under the spout, and filled it only half full with the ruby red drink that looked like grape juice and reminded her of church.

Bringing it to her lips, the chilled liquid cooled the inside of her mouth, then soothed the scratchiness of her throat, still a little raw from weeks of coughing. She stood with her hand on the refrigerator door, waiting for the first sip to finish teasing her senses so she could take another, then another, and refill her glass—half full—before putting her feet up in front of her favorite morning soap opera.

She didn’t have a drinking problem, no matter what Kathy said. She only had half a glass now and then; half a glass! Doc knew. He teased her about her kiddie juice every chance he got, but that’s because he thought alcohol should only come in a square bottle with a black label.

“It’s like you’re telling war stories, but you’ve never been in a trench, Myra.” Ironically, Doc, who had been in a few trenches himself, never told war stories, and the thought of all his bottled up pain made Myra want another half a glass of Sangria.

Just a half a glass, though.

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Chapter 2

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elderberry-croft-june-melody

The song was soft at first, just a hint of a melody drifting across the stillness. The summer night hung heavy and oppressive, even this close to midnight, and Myra was doing laundry late, preferring to tackle the heavy loads after the sun went down. The walk to the laundry shed was well-lit as she flip-flopped along the gravel driveway, her basket in one hand, propped on her hip, sipping from a tumbler of chilled wine in her other hand. She passed in front of the main house, around the opposite end, over the little wooden bridge that crossed the stream with its seasonally low water level, and passed between Kathy’s place and Willow’s. She paused when she heard it, the sound of guitar strings being plucked by light fingers.

Turning her head this way and that, she frowned, unable to discern from where it came. Kathy often played her music until all hours of the night, but it was usually Hawaiian ukulele tunes, not classical guitar. And this sounded lonelier, a solitary instrument lifting its notes to the heavens. She glanced over at Willow’s little Elderberry Croft, but the lights were all out, even the twinkle lights on the front porch. The cottage was still, as far as she could tell, tucked in for the night.

Then it stopped altogether, followed by a hushed silence. Soon a whirring of a cricket’s song picked up where the guitar left off.

Myra suddenly remembered the Shadowman. Her heart started up a racket inside her chest that rattled her ribs together, and she made a mad dash the rest of the way to the laundry shed, pulling the chain that hung from the bulb on the ceiling, and closing the rickety door behind her. It didn’t matter that Eddie assured her the guy wouldn’t be back. He’d confronted him last month, and made it clear to the man that he was wandering around private property, and was not welcome. She dropped her basket of dirty clothes on the floor and leaned her back against the door, listening for the sound of stealthy footsteps. The glass in her hand shook, the remaining liquid sloshing around a little, and she quickly downed the rest of it and set it on top of the dryer. If the Shadowman was out there, she might just be spending the night in here.

“I’m not going to make it out alive, am I, God?” She tried to keep her voice from trembling, but it was after eleven, and no one in the park was ever up this late, except for Kathy. But tonight, even her lights were already out. “I could scream ‘til I’m blue in the face, and no one will hear me.” Her eyes prickled with unshed tears as a lump of fear formed itself in the back of her throat. What was she going to do?

Eying the basket of clothes, she opted to stay busy. Maybe the mundane task of washing and folding laundry would help calm her down, help her come up with a solution to her dilemma. She opened the dryer and peered inside, the towels she’d thrown in an hour ago, dry and fluffy and soft to the touch. She pulled them out, piled them on top of the dryer, then replaced them with the jeans and tee shirts from the washer. Into the washer went the load of whites, detergent, and a half cup of bleach, and she set to work folding, the large towels stacked in the basket, the washcloths and hand towels in a growing pile on the dryer.

There it was again! This time, the guitar seemed fuller, richer, sweeter, until Myra realized there was a voice accompanying the strings, soft words, indecipherable over the rumble of the dryer. But the song was more than just music, it was a cry, and Myra didn’t need to understand the words to hear the message.

Longing. Like the cold that settles into your bones in the dead of winter, and no matter how many layers you wear, or how closely you draw up to the fire, it’s there, that deep ache that won’t let you rest, that won’t leave you in peace.

It had to be Willow. Myra’d never heard anyone else here sing like that. Oh, Patti had a pretty voice, and she could certainly carry a tune, but Patti sang more like a Lemon Sister. Not this gypsy haunting that lingered in the air like mourning.

She reached up and gave the chain above her a quick tug, knowing that if she opened the door with it on, the rectangle of light would blaze across the way toward Willow’s place, interrupting the music. And Myra was certain she did not want the song to end. She had to hear it better; it called to her.

Leaving her basket of towels on the floor, she slipped out into the warm night, and moved a little ways toward Elderberry Croft, stepping just out of the spotlight of the lamppost that monitored the comings and goings of the residents at night. Now she could hear what Willow sang.

In the lingering silence I still hear your whispered sigh.
But your hand in mine tells me you’re leaving
You must not know how much I need you
That every moment you stay keeps me breathing.
So far away, you’re drifting, so far from me,
I can’t reach you anymore, anywhere.
But my heart won’t set you free.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark, Myra could make out the shadowy form of Willow, perched on the low ledge that bordered the stream, her legs dangling in the shallow water. She cradled a guitar in her lap, the neck more upright than out to the side, almost like she was playing a miniature cello. Flickers of moonlight cast off the surface of the water flowing around her ankles, and Myra saw the girl bring a bottle to her lips, and take a long draw from it, before resting her cheek against the instrument in her arms.

Sitting alone in the dark, singing love songs to someone who’s drifted too far away, drinking away the pain of heartbreak. Myra turned and quietly made her way back to the laundry shed, unable to bear being a witness to the young woman’s suffering a moment longer.

As she pulled the door shut behind her, the song continued, this time just the lonely guitar. Myra closed her eyes and leaned against the door in the tiny dark space, listening, her own heart breaking for her neighbor.

After a few more moments, she tugged on the light cord again, suddenly too weary to contemplate coming back one more time tonight to move the wash to the dryer. She’d take the dry load home now, finish folding it there, and be back first thing in the morning. She scooted the basket closer as she swept the rest of the unfolded towels into it, cringing at the noise it made clunking up against the metal casing of the dryer. She did not want Willow to know she was there; she felt like an intruder. Scooping up the washcloths and hand towels, now in a hurry, she dropped them both into the basket, hoisted it to her hip again, and reached up to turn off the light.

A piercing pain shot through her heel, wrapping around her ankle and scurrying up her calf, and in the split second before she screamed, the spine-chilling echo of a rattle registered in her mind. The flick of a nubby tail waved at her as it disappeared into the crack between the two machines, the rattlesnake more interested in finding another cozy place to curl up for the night than in inflicting any more hurt on Myra.

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Chapter 3

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elderberry-croft-june-melody

Myra shoved open the laundry shed door, her foot beginning to throb. “Help!” She cried out, hoping her voice would carry across the way to Willow, hoping the babble of the brook and the girl’s playing wouldn’t drown out her call.

She twisted her leg a little to peek at her foot, but the sight of so much blood started her panicking. She thought she might pass out from pain. “Help me! Willow!” She could barely stand to put weight on the toes of her right foot, and she took a few more hobbling steps before she stopped. Visions of dying right there in the middle of the driveway, her underwear in the washing machine for anyone in the world to discover, flashed through her mind. “Willow!” She cried out again, then saw the girl moving toward her.

She collapsed on the ground, relief making her legs give out altogether. By the time Willow bent over her, the tears were falling, and she rolled to her side, clutching her stomach, the thought of what was to become of her making her nauseous.

“What happened?” The smooth voice washed over Myra like remnants of Willow’s song.

“A rattler! A rattle snake bit my heel. Call 911.” It was just a harsh grunt, her jaw clenched around the words. Remembering the silhouette of the bottle, Myra squinted up at Willow, hoping the girl wasn’t too drunk to help. Then she noticed the bottle in her hands; not alcohol, but sparkling water. She sighed with relief.

“Don’t move. Be still, and try to stay calm, okay? You don’t want that venom moving through your system any faster than it has to. I’ll be right back.” Willow was on her feet, darting back to her cottage, sure-footed. She disappeared under the shadowy porch momentarily, before the lights in the house came on, one by one, flooding the area where Myra lay with light.

Through her squinted eyes, she spotted Willow’s guitar propped against the front steps, leaning precariously to the left, as though perhaps the instrument was a little tipsy, and not the musician. She made herself focus on the shape of it, the hourglass curve of the body, so like a woman’s; the long straight neck that held the keys to every song. She finally closed her eyes and listened to the sounds of the night, trying to recall the haunting melody Willow had played only moments before.

Hurrying steps, then a cool hand was pressed to her cheek. “Myra. I’m going to wash your foot, okay? I’ll try not to hurt you, but I need you to relax and stay calm. The paramedics are on their way.”

“Call Eddie,” she moaned, not bothering to open her eyes. “He needs to get that snake. Before it gets anyone—else.” She grimaced, her heel on fire.

“Hush now. Everything will be okay. I already called him and he’s on his way.” Myra felt the younger woman’s cool hand on her ankle, and she flinched. “I’m sorry. We need to make sure your heel is clean, okay?”

Myra nodded, and clamped her lower lip between her teeth, holding her breath against the anticipated pain.

“Breathe with me, Myra. Deep breath in through your nose, slow breath out through your mouth. It will help you stay calm.”

The cool washcloth on her foot shocked her overstimulated senses, and she let out a short shriek, jerking her leg away from Willow’s touch. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m such a baby.” Tears were spilling out of the corners of her eyes and her stomach sloshed threateningly.

“No, Myra. You’re being very brave. I’m going to try again, okay? I’ll just put the washcloth over it; I won’t touch it. Breathe with me.”

This time she was more prepared, and held still while Willow placed the washcloth over her heel and poured water over it in a slow, gentle stream.

“Hey.” Eddie had arrived. He was out of breath and looked like he’d been hauled out of bed. His tee-shirt was askew and his hair stuck out at odd angles, but to Myra, he was a sight for sore eyes. “How is she?” He directed his question to Willow, and Myra, for once, remained silent and let the two of them talk about her, uninterrupted.

He dispatched himself to the laundry room, his heavy gloves and snake hook in hand. Myra knew he was a pro at catching rattlers, and she sighed with relief, knowing the park residents would be safe to do their wash in the morning. Every year, between May and September, the snakes were on the prowl, and he rarely got through a season without having to deal with at least one of the frightening creatures. Myra had complete faith in him.

Thinking about the others coming to do their laundry reminded her of what was in the washer. “Willow, my laundry! I have all my personal things…” Another wave of pain forced her to clench her teeth together.

“Shh. Don’t worry about your laundry. I’ll take care of it for you.”

“Tell Kathy. She owes me,” Myra moaned.

Willow chuckled softly.  “You need to stop worrying about everyone else, Myra, and focus on you right now.”

“I’m here. Tell me what?” Kathy’s face appeared over Willow’s shoulder, her thick black hair mussed and wild, eyes puffy from sleep.

“My laundry. I don’t want anyone seeing my underwear.”

“No one cares about your underwear, silly.”

Myra squinted up at her friend. A pebble was digging into her hip, but she didn’t dare move. “I’m not being silly. Why do you always say I’m silly?” Myra snapped at her, something she never did.

Kathy straightened, her features disappearing as the light behind her threw them into shadows, but not before Myra glimpsed the wounded look in her eyes. Kathy harrumphed. “I’ll fold your undies for you, don’t worry. I don’t know why you’re so worked up over them. Everyone wears underwear. Okay. Not everyone. But everyone has seen them before. Well, maybe not everyone has seen your underwear before. But I’ll hide them for you so you can go on pretending your skivvies don’t exist.”

“And you call me silly.” Myra let her eyes drift closed. Were her lips tingling? Could she feel her toes? Why did it burn so terribly?

The paramedics arrived shortly, flashing lights, but no sirens. For that, Myra was glad. It didn’t matter, though; before long, between the emergency crew and the light-sleeping neighbors, the place was milling with activity. Jessie, a strapping young man, his biceps bulging beneath the blue shirtsleeves of his uniform, immediately began asking her pertinent questions, and she tried to answer them as best she could. A woman with gentle hands, who introduced herself as Lisa, picked up her foot and began to examine the bite, while another fellow held a light for her. A few moments later, Lisa raised a hand to get Jessie’s attention.

“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she nodded at her co-worker. “Myra, you said you were bitten by a rattler?”

Myra nodded, and glanced over at Eddie, who was just emerging from the laundry shed with a black plastic trash bag.

“Right here.” He held the bag aloft. “It’s a rattler all right.”

“Hm.” Lisa turned to the paramedic holding the flashlight. “Pete, can you take a look here?” Pete bent forward, and studied Myra’s heel too, then shook his head.

“No puncture wounds.”

“Right,” confirmed Lisa. She looked up at Eddie. “Was there by any chance glass or something else sharp in there that she might have cut her foot on?” She turned back to Myra. “Your heel is badly lacerated. Did you actually see the rattler strike?”

“There’s broken glass all over the floor in there. Looks like a cup or a jar or something.” Eddie came a little closer, the black bag still clutched in his hand. Myra eyed it warily. “I figured she dropped it when she got bit.”

“Myra? Is it possible you might have just cut your foot on the glass and not been bitten by the rattle snake after all?”

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Chapter 4

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elderberry-croft-june-melody

Silly woman. Silly old woman. Kathy was right.

All that rigmarole over a stupid cut. And it was her fault, too! Her empty wine glass, knocked off the dryer in her hurry to get back to the comfort of her own home, away from Willow’s misery.

“Poor rattle snake,” she murmured. “Slaughtered because of the foolishness of a silly old woman.” She’d probably scared it with all her movement, and like most snakes, it wanted nothing to do with her, and had been scurrying off to safer places.

At least the cut was a good one. Apparently, when she bent to pick up her laundry basket, her foot slid sideways off the back of her flip-flop, and her heel came down on the jagged edge of the broken glass. Fourteen stitches and a big old bandage, a round of antibiotics, a set of pain-in-the-rear-crutches, and a promise to not put any weight on her foot, and to keep it elevated as much as possible until her follow-up appointment in five days.

Willow Goodhope, bless her heart, accompanied her to the hospital, then made sure she was settled before she headed to her own little place around three o’clock in the morning. Six hours later, she’d been back at Myra’s front door, a banana-elderberry bundt cake in hand, along with a pretty set of white stoneware mugs, and some kind of herbal tea. “Something to soothe the nerves,” she said, by way of greeting. “And the bread is just because.”

Myra watched the younger woman wander around the small kitchen, humming softly to herself, as she waited for the water heating up in the yellow kettle on the stove top. Willow wore her hair scooped up into a jumbled mass of curls on top of her head. Her floral peasant blouse kept slipping off one shoulder, revealing the lacy strap of the tank-top underneath. Denim cut-offs that weren’t short enough for Hollywood, over purple Capri leggings, and strappy Gladiator sandals gave her a carefree, youthful air that Myra envied.

“Do you like sugar? Or cream? Both?” Willow turned toward her, her smile bright, in spite of her lack of sleep.

“Why are you so chippy this morning?”

“Chippy?” Willow’s eyes widened. “Well, I don’t know about chippy, but I don’t think coming over here all crabby pants and grumbling would help either one of us. So what’ll it be?” She held up a mug.

Myra lay stretched out on her pink and green floral sofa, her foot propped up on a cushion, the television remote and a stack of gossip magazines within reach on the oval coffee table, thanks to Willow’s attentive care. “I’ll take sugar. No cream, please.”

“Sugar, no cream. Coming right up.” She brought the mugs over and set one down on a coaster, before handing Myra a plate of sliced cake. The dark elderberries gleamed like jewels lodged in the crevices of each piece. “Careful. The tea’s still hot.”

Myra sighed and closed her eyes for a moment, her emotions still in an upheaval over the whole fiasco she’d caused. “Why are you being so nice to me?” she murmured, almost afraid to hear the answer. She kept her face averted. “You must think I’m as crazy as a loony bin.”

“I don’t think you’re as crazy as a loon, or a whole loony bin! You had every right to be terrified. A rattler?” Willow slipped into the forest green armchair across from the sofa, folding one leg beneath her. “I think you’re terribly brave.”

Myra shook her head, and pushed herself up a little, finally meeting her neighbor’s eyes. “I’m sorry I kept you up all night. I really was trying to sneak away and not interrupt you at all.” She hesitated, but only for a brief moment, then continued. “You seemed so sad last night.”

It was Willow’s turn to look away; she dropped her gaze to the mug she held between her hands. When she finally spoke, her voice trembled ever so slightly. “I wish you would stop apologizing. In fact, I should probably be the one apologizing, because as terrible as this sounds, I’m kinda glad you got hurt last night.”

Myra frowned, but she didn’t know quite what to say in response, so she clamped her mouth shut and waited for her to explain.

“You were right,” Willow continued. “I was sad last night. I was feeling terribly sorry for myself, and I think I would have continued to get sadder if you hadn’t had your little crisis when you did.” She looked up, blinking, her eyes glistening. “I was missing my family something fierce last night.”

“Oh. Well.” Myra reached over and picked up the full mug from the coffee table. Bringing it to her lips to fill the space left by her lack of something to say, she blew on the surface of the dark liquid, and sipped gingerly.

“Do you have family, Myra?”

The subject change seemed abrupt, and she stumbled over her words a little. “Do I have a family? Of course. Everyone has a family.” The tea really was nice. The floral taste floated over her tongue, and she could feel the warmth of the liquid sliding down her throat, soothing, comforting. “I have three sisters and a baby brother, still living in Costa Rica. And my mother is still alive. I go see them all every year.”

“Oh wow! Costa Rica? You must love going home.” Willow’s face brightened, and she settled deeper into the chair, her own plate of banana bread balanced on her lap.

“This is home, Willow. This is my home. I go visit my family, and then I come home to this.” Myra spread one arm out, a gesture meant to encompass her small mobile home, with it’s distinctly feminine decor, and all the Coach House Trailer Park as well. “This is home.” She loved this little place.

“Right. I’m sorry. That was rather presumptuous of me, wasn’t it?”

“No, no. It’s okay. It’s just that everyone thinks I’m a silly old woman without a husband, stuck here like I have no choice, living here on borrowed time. But I love this place. I choose to live here.” Myra nibbled on the cake. It was soft, moist, and the tangy berries complimented the sweet banana flavor just right. “This is delicious. Thank you.”

Willow nodded, working on her own piece. Myra took another sip of tea. “My husband died almost forty-five years ago, and for a while, I thought I might die, too. I was too young to be a widow, only twenty-eight years old, and I was six months pregnant with our first baby. I grieved too much for Rudy, and so did our baby, because he died before he had a chance to live. Little Rudy went back to heaven to be with his papa.” She loved the idea of her two guys planning and waiting for her to join them one day.

“Oh, Myra.” Willow’s voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.” She brought a hand up to cover her mouth. “I’m so sorry,” she said again, her words catching on their way out.

Myra nodded, acknowledging Willow’s genuine response. She hadn’t intended to talk about Rudy to Willow, at least not this morning, but the opportunity had come about so naturally, and now she warmed up to the chance to share her husband with someone new. Besides, it took her mind off the fool she’d made of herself last night. “Rudy drove a delivery truck for a uniform company. His route took him all the way from Palm Springs into Los Angeles. Sometimes he put 200 miles a day on his truck.” She tucked her hair behind her ear and adjusted her hips beneath her, trying to get more comfortable with her foot propped up the way it was. “You have to remember. This was back in the seventies, when everyone wore uniforms. Everyone. Rudy was a favorite. His customers loved him. He joked with the guys and flirted with the ladies. He was a good man, Willow.”

Willow nodded. “I’m sure he was, if you’re the woman he chose.”

Myra beamed at the compliment, and continued. “He rolled his truck one day trying to avoid hitting a young man who’d pulled out of a side road without looking. Rudy was thrown out, and the doctors said that he probably died on impact. This was before the seatbelt laws and his truck didn’t have doors.”

“Myra, Myra!” Willow used her napkin to dab at her eyes. “How terrible.”

“I know. Yes, it was terrible. Terrible in every way imaginable.” Myra’s heart felt heavy, as it always did when she thought about the difficult year that followed. “Rudy’s kid brother, Jack, was living with us at the time. You’ve met him.”

“Jack? The guy who comes to play poker with you and the others here? I didn’t know he was your brother-in-law!”

“Yep. He lived with us after he left home, trying to get his feet under him. He was younger than Rudy by seven years, and when my husband died, Jack took it on his own shoulders to look after me.” She shook her head briskly, remembering, her hair swishing around her jawline in opposite motions. “That was no easy task for any man, let me tell you, no less for a twenty-five year old who had just lost the brother he loved like a father. Aye-yi-yi! I was loco with grief, and I couldn’t understand why God didn’t take me, too, and one night, I took out my misery on poor Jack. I screamed at him, I called him all sorts of terrible names, I told him to leave me alone, to get out and let me die. And that boy, he just took it. He stood there while I threw things at him. Dishes, a lamp, books, whatever I could get my hands on. Sure, he ducked and dodged as best he could, but he just stood his ground and let me attack him.” She snorted softly, remembering. “I finally stopped throwing things when he started bleeding. I hit him with a hummingbird figurine Rudy had given me to remind me of Costa Rica, and it split open his forehead.” She lifted a hand and drew a line down the side of her face with her forefinger.

Willow just shook her head in response, as though she could find nothing to say.

“When I saw the blood gushing down the side of his face, I passed out. Laid out, cold. Jack carried me to the couch, and when I came around, and we’d both calmed down a little, I took him to the hospital to get stitched up.” She grinned sheepishly at Willow. “He told the doctor he ran into an open cupboard door.”

“My goodness! I’ll never look at Jack the same again.”

“I know. The man deserves a cape. He’s been my hero ever since.” Myra waved a hand in the direction of her foot. “And ever since then, I pass out at the sight of blood. Last night, I mistook my lightheadedness and tingling fingertips as the effects of a rattle snake bite, but it was really just because the sight of my own blood was making me woozy.”

Willow shook her head slowly several times before finally leaning forward to speak. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Who? What do you mean?” But Myra knew exactly who and what the girl was talking about. “Jack?”

“Yes, Jack.” One of Willow’s curls kept dropping down over her forehead and getting caught in the eyelashes of her left eye. After repeatedly tucking it back up into the clip, she released the whole pile of hair and let it tumble down around her shoulders.

“He wanted to marry me. He asked me many times,” Myra acknowledged. “But I knew it wouldn’t be fair to him. I’d always compare him to Rudy, my true love, and Jack would always come up short. I couldn’t do that to him. Or to any man, for that matter.” Myra shrugged her thin shoulders. “I never stopped loving Rudy.”

“Did Jack ever get married?” The girl’s voice was low, sad in the aftermath of Myra’s story.

“Yes, he did. He met Linda in night school, and married her. She was his teacher, in fact, and several years older than he was. She was divorced and had two children already, but I’ve never been close to them.” Myra waved her hand around at the room again. “Shortly after he moved out, I sold the home where I’d said goodbye to the three most important men in my life—Rudy, our baby, and then Jack, even though that was my own choice—and bought this little place.” She beamed. “My home.”

Willow’s voice was gentle, understanding. “I feel a little like that about Elderberry Croft. I didn’t buy it, but that doesn’t matter so much as the fact that it’s utterly and completely me over there. No one else’s. And I love it.” She reached out and set her empty plate on the coffee table. “So I have a very nosy question to ask you, then. How does Jack’s wife feel about him coming over here to play cards with you, especially when he looks at you like that?”

Myra felt her cheeks flush. She knew he still had a soft spot for her, had always been a little in love with her, but it surprised her to hear that this young woman could see it so clearly. “Linda died about two years ago.”

“Leaving Jack single again! Available!” There was a new twinkle in Willow’s eye that had nothing to do with unshed tears, and Myra wagged a finger at the girl.

“Oh no, no, no.” She shook her head in time with her words. “It doesn’t work that way when you’re old. We’re comfortable with the way things are. He comes to visit me a little more often, now that his wife is gone, and I’m happy for his friendship. I don’t know what I would do without him, but neither would I know what to do with him. I can’t imagine sharing this place with anyone else, not even Jack.”

“Myra, I think you’re just being stubborn. I think you two should have a date night. I can arrange it for you. Talk to Patti. I’m good at that kind of thing.” Willow’s sadness was quickly dissipating.

“No, no, no, Willow. It’s just too late for some people. I’ll be seventy-two this year, and Rudy isn’t too far behind me. Besides, my doctor says I might not last much longer. My heart isn’t as strong as it used to be.” Myra wasn’t about to admit to this girl that there were times, more often these days, when she noticed Jack looking at her, when she’d turn and find his eyes on her, and quickly look away.

“But maybe your heart will find new strength if you open it up to Jack. It’s never too late for love, Myra. Never!” Willow pushed herself up out of her chair and scooped up the empty plates and mugs, taking them to the kitchen sink where she made short work of washing them.

When she returned to the chair, her mouth was set and her eyes intent. She laced her fingers together on her knees, and said, “Thank you for telling me about Rudy, Myra. And about your baby. And Jack. I’m honored that you shared them with me. I need to go run a few errands, but I’ll be back later to check on you, okay?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 5

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elderberry-croft-june-melody 

Willow left her with a promise to return at lunch time with food, and Myra sat contemplating her bandaged foot, resting like a prized possession on its pillow. She knew what Jack’s reaction was going to be this afternoon when he came by. Put out, at first, for not calling him last night, then attentive and caring and… and spousal. He would see to it that she had everything she needed. He would offer to sleep on the sofa. He would make sure she took her pain pills and antibiotics, that she ate three full meals, and slept comfortably at night, and didn’t do more than she was supposed to do, and…and all the little things a husband would do for her. All the things she’d missed out on since Rudy left her alone. All the things she’d only glimpsed in the tender gestures Jack had made toward her over the years, held in check first by her resistance, then by his vows to Linda.

She sighed deeply, her mind and heart in a quandary now, Willow’s words making real the thoughts Myra had kept stifled for the last few years. Jack was her dearest friend, and the thought of messing things up by changing their relationship this late in life scared her more than anything. What if it didn’t work? What if Jack’s unrequited love for her had become a habit to him, losing its authenticity? What if he didn’t really love anymore, after all these years? Did she love him enough to risk it?

Jack arrived on her doorstep, all in a fluster, right before noon, a container of her favorite clam chowder from the deli counter at the local grocery store in one hand, a potted petunia in the other. “I got a call from Eddie,” he explained. “He told me you’d been hurt, and needed help.”

“Eddie called you?” Bemused, Myra questioned him again. “How does Eddie know what I need? He hasn’t been by to see me.”

Jack lowered himself into the chair Willow had vacated, and visibly relaxed. “I’m glad to see you’re doing okay. I was really worried when I found out you couldn’t even walk.”

Suddenly Myra caught on. “Willow!”

“Is she the one who went with you to the hospital last night?” Jack frowned, pinning her with an admonishing glare. “And why didn’t you call me?” Just as she’d anticipated.

“She was there when it happened, Jack,” Myra explained. “It was almost the middle of the night and you were sound asleep. By the time you would’ve gotten here, I was already being stitched up.”

“Eddie said you were doing laundry.” Jack shook his head and scrubbed his face with his hands. “Laundry, Myra? At midnight? What if that Shadow character was hanging around here again? What if you ran into him, or some other unsavory fellow? You can’t just wander around in the middle of the night and not expect something bad to happen.”

“Don’t be silly, Jack. The only thing I really have to worry about here is the kind of unsavory fellow who crawls around on his belly in the laundry room, and now, thanks to Eddie, he’s not an issue either. Actually, the only person I have to be afraid of is myself. I’m the one who did this.” She waved dismissively at her foot. “And I’m fine. A couple stitches, a few days with my foot up like a pampered princess, and everything is back to normal. You should stop worrying so much.”

Jack leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. She could see the muscles in his jaw working, twitching, and she knew he was trying to hold back his rebuttal.

“Look, Jack. I have lots of help around here. Willow has already been by to visit and brought me breakfast. I’m sure Kathy will show up at some point today. You know she’s never out of bed before noon, but she’s got my laundry. Eddie is looking out for me, and Al, once he knows I’m disabled, he’ll be over here all the time.”

“Humph. Doesn’t he have a job?” Jack didn’t open his eyes.

“Who? Al? Of course, he has a job. But he’s off work by one in the afternoon every day, so he’ll be available whenever I need help.”

Jack suddenly straightened and sat forward in the chair, just like Willow had done, but with much more vehemence. “Al? Why Al? I’m available, Myra! I’m available now, not at one o’clock. I was available last night at midnight, awake and alert and sitting around doing nothing, but you wouldn’t know that because you didn’t bother asking me. I’m available to bring you breakfast, and do your laundry, and take you back to the hospital for your follow-up appointments. I’m available for anything you need. Or want.”

They stared at each other in stunned silence following his rant, gazes locked across the few feet that separated them. Finally, Jack spoke again, gentler, but no less fervent. “All you have to do is ask, Myra, and I’m yours.”

“Oh.” It was all she could think of to say.

Jack stood and began patting his shirt pockets. “I’m going outside for a smoke. You all right?”

“I’m fine. Thank you.” She didn’t like to cry in front of him because it always made him worry, but she felt the tears welling up anyway. “I’ll just rest for a bit, and when you’re hungry, come back in and we’ll share that soup you brought, okay?” She hoped she looked exhausted, even though she felt so wound up she thought she might start bouncing around the room like a corkscrew.

She watched him as he made his way out to her front porch, quietly pulling the screen door closed behind him. At one time, Jack was a tall man, but now his shoulders sloped away from his neck and rounded over his chest, as if protecting his heart, the organ that took up residence behind his ribcage. He’d never been heavy, but his lean frame now looked gaunt to Myra, like he’d lost weight since losing Linda. And perhaps he had. Linda had done most of the cooking for them, even up until those last days before she slipped away in her sleep. Myra had been the grateful recipient of Linda’s wonderful meals for thirty-odd years, and even though she hadn’t ever gotten to know Linda’s children well, the two women had been friends, if not bosom buddies.

Maybe Jack was just lonely. After all, he’d never really lived alone. He went from his mother’s home, to their home, then to Linda’s home, and now, for the first time in his life, he lived all by himself. Myra remembered that feeling, right after Jack married and moved out, how vacant her house—and subsequently, her life—seemed, and when a friend told her about The Coach House Trailer Park and the mobile home up for sale, she’d jumped on it, desperate for a change, for new life, for new faces and new scenery.

She said a teary goodbye to the ghosts of Rudy and little Rudy who had taken to wandering around their home right before she moved, and when she climbed into the front seat of Jack’s overstuffed station wagon, she didn’t look back. Jack reached for her across the console, and she let him wrap his sturdy, work-roughened, and very real fingers around her hand. They drove in silence together, and she couldn’t imagine making that journey with anyone else.

Myra awoke some time later to the sound of muffled voices outside the front door. Men’s voices, and there were at least two, maybe more. She lay still, trying to pick out the different timbres, identifying cadences that determined who was out there. Jack, of course, Al, and it sounded like Eddie, and another voice, too. Who could that be? Opening one eye, she peered up at the plain white clock on the wall beside the pantry. Good gracious! She’d been asleep for over an hour!

Sitting up, she carefully lowered her foot to the floor, and reached for the pair of crutches leaning against the end of the couch. She needed to use the restroom, and she really did not need all those silly men out there offering to help her. She’d do it on her own, quickly, before they found out she was awake.

As she hobbled and wobbled the short distance to the bathroom, she thought about Shelly Little over in Space #8, and how she’d fallen and twisted her ankle just a month or two ago. She, too, had been forced to keep her foot elevated, but she’d borrowed a walker from Richard Davis in Space #10, who had an extra one. “I need to call Patti,” Myra muttered, feeling clumsy and dangerous on the crutches. In just one morning of using them, her armpits were already sore, her left hip was aching from the strain of supporting her weight, and her neck and shoulders were tight and tense. And all she’d really done was get in and out of bed, and up and down off the sofa a few times to go to use the restroom. This simply would not do.

Besides, maybe, just maybe, she’d pick Patti’s brain about the date night Willow had set up for the Davis’ back on Valentine’s Day. Maybe.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6

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elderberry-croft-june-melody

She tripped her way into the small room, closed the door behind her, and leaned against the vanity counter, lifting her gaze to look at her reflection. “Aye-yi-yi!” Myra’s thin, silky hair tangled nest-like around her face, as though she’d tossed and turned for hours, and the shadows beneath her eyes belied the truth that she’d slept well. “Thank goodness those boys didn’t see me like this!” She reached for a brush, and as she did, one crutch slipped out from under her arm and crashed to the floor, the aluminum frame clanging loudly against the porcelain toilet bowl on the way down, startling Myra with how loud it was. Without thinking, she took a step and let out a cry of pain, and a moment later, Jack was pounding on the door.

“Are you all right in there?”

Trying not to moan, she dropped clumsily to the toilet, and bent over to take a look at her foot. Fortunately, she saw no blood seeping through the white gauze; she was a little worried about toppling over in a dead faint all alone. “I’m fine, Jack. I’m just using the toilet. I’ll be right out.”

Several minutes later, she emerged from the bathroom, thrusting her shoulder against the lightweight door. Jack stood only a few paces away, and around her dining table, sat Eddie, Al, and Eddie’s younger brother, Donny. Of course. He’d moved back in with Edith last month, and wherever Eddie was, Donny was also. Eddie wasn’t letting Donny out of his sight these days, and Myra thought that was a good thing. As handsome and charming as Donny was, the guy was trouble, with a capital T. In the month he’d been here, she’d seen him stumbling in at all hours of the night, usually a bit on the toasty side, slurring his words and singing raunchy country songs about beautiful bodies and blue jeans. Myra had known Edith and her boys for years, and she knew Edith was blind to her younger son’s true nature, poor woman. Clearly, Eddie was trying to step in and teach Donny some responsibility, but Myra couldn’t help wondering how effective it would be in the long run. Donny didn’t seem inclined to change, at least not when Eddie was all tucked up in bed at night and the younger man was cut loose.

They all watched her in silence as she made her way back to the sofa, Jack right behind her, both hands extended, ready to catch her if she happened to go down. When she was seated, and had repositioned her foot back up on the cushions with Jack’s help, she turned to her audience and flashed a self-conscious, but pleased smile. “Hi guys.”

A rumbling chorus of male greetings filled the room, and Myra giggled. “So does this mean we’re still playing Poker? I just need to eat a little first, okay?”

Just then, there was a knock on the door, and Willow’s wild-hair-framed face peered in through the open screen door. “Hi Myra! Hi guys! Can I come in?”

Myra beckoned with her hand, and turned back to the men at the table, preparing to ask one of them to dig out the cards from her junk drawer. But the look on Donny’s face stopped her, and she clamped her mouth closed as she watched the strangest set of expressions pass back and forth between Eddie and Donny. What on earth was going on?

Donny stared at Willow for several moments, his sapphire blue eyes wide with appreciation. Then his brows raised in question, and his gaze darted from Eddie to Willow, then back again. Eddie, in return, scowled and blushed—he actually blushed!—and although it was just barely noticeable, Myra saw him shake his head quickly, his eyes narrowing, warning, maybe even threatening.

Donny stood and crossed the room, holding the door open for the woman. “Come in,” he welcomed her, and stuck out a hand. “You must be our new neighbor in Space #12.”

Willow smiled politely, and returned his handshake, but Myra was pleased to see the girl wasn’t responding to Donny with much warmth. Smart cookie, she thought. She knows a cad when she sees one.

“I’m Donny, Eddie’s brother, and Mom’s favorite.”

“Nice to meet you, Donny.” And with that, Willow withdrew her hand, and stepped around the man, quickly crossing the room to the chair she’d sat in earlier. Myra didn’t miss the smug grin on Eddie’s face. He almost sneered at Donny, who seemed undaunted by Willow’s obvious dismissal.

“How are you, Myra? How’s your foot? Have you eaten lunch?”

“I’m fine, honey. Jack brought me some soup, but I fell asleep before I could eat any, so I’m just now getting ready to have some.”

“Here you go, Myra.” Jack had already reheated and served up a bowl of the chowder for her, and brought it to her on a tray, with a spoon, a glass of apple juice, and a slice of buttered bread.

“Thank you, Jack.” Myra avoided Willow’s eyes, but her cheeks burned as she thought about their earlier conversation.

“I brought the bread,” Al declared, his voice gruff; almost impatient. “I made it myself. In my bread machine.”

Myra tore off a thick chunk and popped it in her mouth before smiled brightly at him. “Thank you, Al. It’s delicious!” Poor thing. He, too, had once had a thing for her, and she’d even gone out for a meal once or twice with him, but when he tried to make things official between them, she put a stop to that right away. She knew for a fact that Al was just lonely, that he simply wanted female companionship something fierce. Well, she was happy to be his friend, but he was not her cup of tea; not by a long shot. He drank too much, he smoked too heavily, and his red nose and basketball belly protruding from his otherwise slender frame did nothing for her. Al wasn’t a bad sort, and if forced to choose between him and the handsome Donny, she’d take Al any day. No, he wasn’t a bad sort, just not her sort.

She glanced over at Jack who’d located the cards without her asking, and had pulled up a another chair to the table. He nodded attentively, and she brought a spoonful of chowder to her mouth. She loved this soup, and the fact that Jack knew it was her all-time favorite, and had thought about it on his way over, made her belly warm before the soup did. Seemingly satisfied with her silent appreciation, he began shuffling the deck, his movements intentional, methodical.

Donny made his way back to the table, too, but sat opposite his brother, instead of beside him, an impish grin spread across his face. “So, Willow,” he began. “Tell us about yourself. Are you married?”

“Don!” Eddie ground the single syllable out between clenched teeth; quiet, but firm.

“What? It’s just a question.” Donny was enjoying himself.

“Leave her alone.” The statement came out like a sledgehammer strike, and everyone turned to stare at Eddie, surprised by his uncharacteristic insistence.

“It’s all right,” Willow said, standing and turning to face the men seated around the table. But before she could continue, there was another knock on the door. Doc had arrived.

“Come in!” Donny called out. “You’re just in time! We’re getting to know the new girl.”

“Donny.” This time it was a growl. “Show some respect or get out.”

“Seriously? You’re going to kick me out of Myra’s house for wanting to get to know this woman you can’t stop talking about?” Donny leaned back in his chair, his feet just out of range of Eddie’s booted toes, smug and confident. “Beautiful name, by the way. Suits you, Miss Willow Goodhope.” He winked at her. “Or is it Mrs?”

Doc removed his hat as he came inside, and his calculating gaze swept around the room. “Hey, Myra. Good to see you’re alive and well. Ms. Goodhope.” He nodded in Willow’s direction, then he went on to greet the guys. “You making trouble again, Donny-boy?”

It was like a pinprick in a Mylar balloon, the air slowly leaking out, deflating Donny, just a little. No one called him Donny-boy but Doc, and everyone knew it was only because Doc could hardly tolerate the kid. And Donny knew better than to make waves with the soldier.

“Nope. Just curious.”

“Curiosity killed the cat, they say,” Doc commented.

Willow swept gracefully into the kitchen, past the table of men, past Doc still standing just inside the front door, and Myra watched the men’s eyes follow her every move. She shook her head and rested back against the cushions of the couch, her bowl of soup half-eaten. “You don’t have to tell these man-children anything, Willow,” she declared. “They’re only interested in the way your pants fit anyway.”

“Myra!” Willow spun around at the sink, obviously surprised, but a grin played across her mouth.

“What? Look at them. They’re all but drooling, just watching you walk across the room. I’m the invalid here, and no one is even looking at me.”

“I am.” Jack spoke quietly, and sure enough, Jack’s whole body was turned toward her, every ounce of his attention on her.

“Thank you, Jack. Now the rest of you. Are you going to be polite to Willow, or am I going to have to insist on you leaving?”

The laugh that burst out of the red-haired girl startled everyone, and when Willow stopped chuckling, she said, “You guys are awesome. I’m so glad you’re treating me like one of you, looking out for me like I’m your kid sister. I was an only child, you know.” And with that, Willow effectively declared her position in the group as a sister, a family member, not a potential love interest. She filled a glass with water for herself, then turned and leaned against the sink. “Donny, in answer to your question, I honestly don’t know if I’m still married or not. I don’t believe I am. And in answer to the question none of you asked out loud; the man you all refer to as Shadowman? He told Eddie he was my husband. He might be right. I haven’t been to court to make sure, but I suppose it’s time I take care of this, isn’t it?”

The room filled with silence, then finally, Doc spoke. “Ms. Goodhope, you do what you need to do. You’re safe here with us, you hear? You have nothing to worry about while you’re living in this park.” He took a step toward the table, pinning the youngest man there with a steely stare. “Isn’t that right, Donny-boy?”

“Stop calling me that.”

“Grow up, and maybe I will.” Doc’s smile never wavered, but his words made it very clear that he didn’t think this was a joking matter. “You’re on Coach House turf now, and you’re going to behave like a gentleman around the ladies.” Then he nodded in Willow’s direction. “We all are. And I’ll start. Thank you for taking care of Myra. And for helping to set a few other things straight around here. I’m not a big one for change, but when it’s good, I can’t argue with it.”

“Thank you, Doc.” Willow replied. “I think that’s the nicest thing anyone has said to me in a long time.”

“Here, here!” Myra raised her glass of apple juice in the girl’s direction. She really wanted a glass of Sangria, but her doctor had warned her about mixing her pain pills with alcohol. Maybe this was a good time to learn to cut back a little on her consumption.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 7

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elderberry-croft-june-melody

By the time the card games were over and the house was empty again, save for Jack and Willow, Myra was exhausted. “But I’m so antsy,” she declared. “I feel like I want to crawl out of my skin!”

“I wonder if it’s your pain medicine,” Willow suggested.

Myra shook her head. She knew what it was, and it wasn’t an allergy to any medication. She needed a drink. Not badly. Not to the point where she’d go crazy if she didn’t get one. But just enough that she knew settling down would be nearly impossible without a half a glass of Sangria. Taking a deep breath, she admitted it to them. “It’s withdrawals, I’m sure of it. My body is craving a drink something awful. But I’m not allowed any alcohol because of my pain medication.” She tried to keep it nonchalant, but her voice caught a little, and she had to swallow hard before continuing in a half-whisper. “I think I drink too much.”

“Well, then this is a good opportunity to get that under control.” Willow was beside her in a moment, dropping down to sit on the very edge of the sofa. She took Myra’s hand and stroked the back of it with her long, pale fingers. “You know what I believe? I believe that God, in His infinite wisdom and understanding, has a way of taking even the ugly things in life and using them for His good, for our good. Maybe all of this is His way of reminding you of what’s important.” She reached over and smoothed a strand of hair away from Myra’s face, then shot a quick sideways glance at Jack, who hovered close by. “What can we do to help? What can I do?”

Myra shook her head, tears starting to form. “I don’t know. I don’t know. I just feel awful. And guilty. And so embarrassed. If I hadn’t been drinking last night, I wouldn’t be lying here like a silly old lady with the shakes, my foot all busted up.”

“Hush. Stop.” Jack came around the coffee table and perched on the arm of the couch, resting his large, knobby hand on the top of her head. She instantly felt covered, cared for.

“Willow?” Her voice was quiet, her request something she hadn’t really considered until she opened her mouth to ask. “Would you—I mean, I’d love it if you’d…if you’d bring your guitar over and sing a few songs for me. It would be like David playing and singing for King Saul to soothe his spirit.” Where did that Sunday School memory come from?

“I’d love to!” Willow’s face lit up at the suggestion. “And if that will help soothe your spirit, even better. Although,” she shrugged, smiling wistfully. “I don’t know how soothing it will be without the background vocals of the stream. That thing is like music to my soul.”

Several minutes later, Willow settled back in the forest-green armchair, her guitar, obviously old by the wearing away around the strings, propped on her lap in that funny way, the neck standing almost upright. Willow explained when she saw Myra’s curious look.

“This was my daddy’s guitar and when he first started teaching me to play it, I was too little to comfortably reach the frets and strum at the same time. So he had me hold it upright like this. I can play it the other way, but this is how I prefer to play. My poor daddy regrets letting me cheat every time I play for him.”

Jack sat comfortably in a chair pulled up close to Myra, nursing a cup of coffee. He’d brought a cup to Willow, but Myra declined. “The caffeine might make me feel worse,” she sighed.

Willow gently strummed the strings as she adjusted the tuning pegs, her head dipped low over the guitar. Then she began to play, soft chords at first, followed by flowing arpeggios, her fingers moving fluidly even as she kept rhythm by tapping the hollow instrument with her pinky finger. It was an old hymn, one Myra recognized, about a fountain of blessings, and it flooded her with comfort.

Come, thou Fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace;
Streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise.
Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above.
Praise the mount! I’m fixed upon it, mount of thy redeeming love.

The song continued for a few more verses, Willow’s playing remarkably like Celtic stringed instruments and Irish drums, her lilting voice adding to the effects. When she eased into the song she’d been playing the night before, Myra sighed, and turned to find Jack watching her, the emotion in his eyes raw and unfiltered.

This time, she didn’t turn away, but held his gaze, letting her own filters fall away as Willow’s song continued to wash over her.

In the lingering silence I still hear your whispered sigh.
But your hand in mine tells me you’re leaving
You must not know how much I need you
That every moment you stay keeps me breathing.
So far away, you’re drifting, so far from me,
I can’t reach you anymore, anywhere.
But my heart won’t set you free.

Why couldn’t she and Jack find happiness together? Why did she insist on holding him at bay, on denying the fact that she breathed easier—that she breathed at all—because he was in her life? Wasn’t forty-five years of mourning enough?

In the echoes of twilight, I still hear your whispered sigh
Your words like storm clouds sweeping in
You must not know how much I love you
That every beat of my heart calls out your name.
Come closer, my beloved, be near to me.
Just hold on to me, I’m here.
My heart won’t set you free.

 She held out her hand, her fingers reaching for him, the beat of her heart calling out his name. “Jack,” she whispered, knowing he wouldn’t hear her over the beautiful music.

But somehow he did. His calloused palm brushed against hers like promises on a summer day.

Come closer, my beloved, be near to me.
Your love has set me free.

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The End of Part 6: June Melody

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I hope you enjoyed learning more about the mother hen of the Coach House Trailer Park, Myra Cordova, in Part 6: June Melody.

Do come again in July for Part 7: July Madness.

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A Hope Named Grace

June already. HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

And what happened to the list of achievements I was to have accomplished by the end of the first half of 2013? I shake my head in shocked bemusement–what else can I do?

I told a pastor friend that I feel like I’ve been treading water forever and I’m worn out. Have you ever tried treading water for an extended period of time? It’s exhausting! And the scenery stays the same when you’re treading water, so the spirit grows weary, too.

But this I know: Things, they are a-changing. I can feel the shift in the wind pattern, the rise in the temperature, the subtle changes in the water current, and I’ve got new hope. It’s as though someone just called out to me and said, “Hold on, Becky! Just paddle a little longer. You’re next! The lifeboat is coming for you next!”

GRACE. God has given me a new perspective on GRACE, a new hope called GRACE, and it has a lot to do with the word, and the passage from HIS WORD, He gave me at the beginning of the year.

be-still-exodus-14-14

STILL. Be STILL and know that He is God. Stay STILL so I can hear His voice. STILL stay in His will for my life. STILL here and not wandering off on my own way. STILL hearing, and waiting for His blessing. STILL. It’s a condition of the heart, and an action of the will, all in one word.

Exodus 14:14 “The Lord will fight your battles for you; all you must do is be STILL.”

And so, I’m learning, while I dog paddle and scissor kick, while I wait to be scooped out of the water and brought to shore, to be buoyed by this new way of seeing and receiving and extending GRACE.

I am wrapping up the first half of 2013 by celebrating. This month, June, we’re celebrating transitions for our kids, family birthdays, contracts, licenses, new jobs, relatives visiting, a kindred spirit’s wedding, and mine and Kevin’s 25th anniversary on June 25th, and GRACE. We’re going out with a bang!

And I’m REALLY looking forward to what He’s got planned for me, for you, for HIS KINGDOM, as we prepare to launch into the second half of 2013.

What are you doing to celebrate the first half of 2013?

Book Review: Dreamspell by Tamara Leigh

Last Friday, I had the privilege of hosting an in-depth interview with the lovely Tamara Leigh. We talked books, faith, the writing journey, seasons of life, and more. Today, not only am I going to announce the winner of one of Tamara’s books, but I’m also reviewing  my favorite Tamara Leigh book to date, the time-travel romantic adventure, Dreamspell.

NOTE: For those of you who don’t know this yet, Dreamspell, and Tamara’s Age of Faith series are in e-book form only. If you do not own a Kindle, you can download a FREE Kindle reader to your desktop here: Kindle Reader.

DreamspellFrom the Back of the Book:

Sleep disorders specialist Kennedy Plain has been diagnosed with a fatal brain tumor. When her research subject dies after trying to convince her he has achieved dream-induced time travel and her study is shelved, she enlists herself as a subject to complete her research. But when she dreams herself into 14th-century England and falls into the hands of Fulke Wynland, a man history has condemned as a murderer, she must not only stay alive long enough to find a way to return to her own time, but prevent Fulke from murdering his young nephews. And yet, the more time she spends with the medieval warrior, the more difficult it is to believe he is capable of committing the heinous crime for which he has been reviled for 600 years.

Baron Fulke Wynland has been granted guardianship of his brother’s heirs despite suspicions that he seeks to steal their inheritance. When the king sends a mysterious woman to care for the boys, Fulke is surprised by the lady’s hostility toward him–and more surprised to learn she is to be his wife. But when his nephews are abducted, the two must overcome their mutual dislike to discover the boys’ fate. What Fulke never expects is to feel for this woman whose peculiar speech, behavior, and talk of dream travel could see her burned as a witch.

From Me:

I’m adopted, and I grew up with the possibility (my fertile imagination nurtured by my beloved and rather imaginative father) that I was really a princess, taken in by my loving parents, who would protect me from any and all harm that might befall a princess NOT disguised as a missionary kid in the jungles of Papua New Guinea.

Because of that belief–hope?–I made sure I knew EVERYTHING there was to know about princesses…and eventually, about princes, and knights in shining armor. As I matured, my fairy tales did, too, and I will admit to you that I’ve never quite lost the notion that there might be some royal blood in these veins.

I used to read Tamara Leigh back in the 90′s, back when I read primarily histfic romance novels, and I thoroughly enjoyed her medieval voice. In the interview last week, Tamara shared with us her journey away from the general market romances toward clean read/inspirational fiction, breaking into the contemporary genre with a whole round of delightful books, a decision that is understandable difficult to make when an author is successful already in the general market. Very cool, Tamara!

Tamara LeighMy heart, however, was tickled pink to find her delving back in time again, to a period that’s near and dear to me – all things medieval – and doing it in such a way that she carried many of her contemporary fiction readers with her… with a time-travel romance!

Lovely, I say!

True to form, Dreamspell is an epic historical romance with all the key heart-pounding elements – knights, woodsmen, kidnapping, plundering, vengeance, jealousy, false accusations, and more.

Kennedy’s sleep disorder gives her a means to travel back in time (wouldn’t that be cool????), but when she finds herself in the 1400s, crossing paths with a man she recognizes from a book she’s read in the future – a man with a violent and vile reputation – she must figure out how to survive long enough to get back to her own time. There are secrets and hidden hurts in any time period we live in, however, and Kennedy’s own heartache follows her across the years, making her question the “truth” she’s been told about Fulke Wynland. The longer she’s held under his care, the more she wonders at the validity of ALL she believes, including her understanding of God, and her purpose in living, no matter which era she finds herself. The story circles dramatically around a mystery involving the King, a mistress, mistaken identity, and the notion that perhaps one CAN change the future by changing the past.

Tamara takes an intriguing look at the “what if” of time travel, the things we can and can’t take with us when we “go,” and the beauty of second chances. To read more about this book, visit Tamara’s website where you can read an introductory excerpt, then head over to Amazon, and download a copy for yourself! It’s only $2.99 right now!

Here’s the link to our interview: Interview with Tamara Leigh. What a rich story Tamara tells about her journey, and about her Age of Faith series!

Age of Faith Series

And the winner of last weeks drawing for one free e-copy of a Tamara Leigh book is…

Lisa Medeiros

Congratulations!

I’ll forward your email address to Tamara Leigh and you’ll be hearing from her shortly!

scroll dividerDo you read time travel novels? Do you ever dream of the possibility of royal blood running in your veins? Would you like to slip back in time a thousand years to the day and age of stone castles, horse-drawn carriages, and knights in shining armor?

Tamara Leigh and the Age of Faith (Giveaway, too!)

I’m tickled pink to have the delightful Tamara Leigh here today! It’s the RELEASE DAY of The Redeeming, the third book in the ‘Age of Faith’ historical romance series, and we have Tamara here talking about the journey that’s brought her to this point in her career.

Tamara-LeighFor those of you who don’t know Tamara, not only is she a wonderful author, but she’s also wickedly gifted in the kitchen, and she blogs her recipes at  The Kitchen Novelist.

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Welcome, Tamara! Not sure why, but every time I think of you, I get hungry.

You started out writing Historical Fiction for the general audience in the 90s, which is actually when I first discovered you. At the time, the only inspirational fiction I’d read was Christy, most of the Love Comes Softly series, some George MacDonald fiction, and some of Brock and Bodie Thoene’s historical fiction. Otherwise, I was a pre-1500s general fiction junkie. But then you went to Inspirational/Clean-Read Contemporary Fiction. Now you’re writing Historical Fiction again, but stayed Inspirational/Clean-Read…. Can you give us a little insight into that progression? Do you plan to stay in the inspirational market?

Tamara: Wow, you knew me way back when! Yes, my medieval romances were written for the general market, meaning they included the requisite love scenes. Over the course of publishing seven novels with Bantam Books, HarperCollins, and Dorchester, I infused my growing faith into my writing, which became a problem for my editors who wanted more love scenes, not “religion.” Thus, they wielded those ravenous red pens of theirs, cutting entire scenes and chapters to make sure I didn’t offend my readers. This was most evident with my sixth novel, Misbegotten, from which 30,000 words were cut—much of which included my heroine’s faith journey during the Black Plague. That was when I first seriously considered writing for the inspirational market. However, it wasn’t until after my seventh novel was published that I went beyond consideration, and only after a long period during which my faith grew and my writing stagnated.

Still, I felt “caught between a rock and a hard place.” The “rock” represented the secular, medieval romances with which I’d had success, earning awards and places on bestseller lists. The “hard place” represented the unknown, possibly failure-riddled world of inspirational romance. To make a long story not quite so long, I finally committed to writing medieval romances for the inspirational market where I would have the freedom to express my faith through my characters. However, despite interest in my three-book “Age of Faith” proposal (two full manuscripts and then some), inspirational publishers were wary of novels set during the middle ages due to the stigma of corruption with the Church, the Crusades, and the Inquisition. When my agent encouraged me to get my foot in the door by writing “something different,” I pulled out a story I had written to relieve my pen and paper craving following a particularly long boycott of the publishing world. Thus, Stealing Adda, a humorous take on the life of a historical romance writer (it was only funny in retrospect), was released in 2006, sans the sensual and minus the medieval.

Unfortunately, though I now firmly have a “foot in the door,” the climate for inspirational medieval romance hasn’t Dreamspellchanged in the past seven years. In late 2011, my longing to return to the medieval setting finally made me take a serious look at self publishing. Six months later, I released Dreamspell, a “clean read” medieval time travel romance—and have had very little reason to look back.

I do plan to continue writing for the inspirational market, as well as the clean read market—speaking of which, my “to do” list includes rewriting my general market medieval romance novels (rights were returned long before ebooks were viable and publishers closed their fists around those rights).

What a story, Tamara. I’ve heard of this kind of thing happening with authors before; a change of heart, a new season in life, but I love getting to see it play out like this in the life of an author I know and love. Thank you for sharing so openly about this journey. I have to admit, although I enjoy your contemporary fiction, I’m a sucker for your Medieval novels, and when I saw you were finally putting them out again, I was one happy reader-fan. And now to learn that you’re considering re-publishing the general market romances as clean-reads? Awesome!

You talked about Dreamspell, a brilliant time travel romance that has us readers harkening back to the age of chivalry. This was your first foray into self-publishing. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I sensed this novel was a segue back into historical for you, in a way that enabled your readers to be ushered into the Medieval age along with your heroine, Kennedy Plain.

Tamara: You are not wrong, oh-perceptive-one. Rather than “test the waters” of self publishing with my “Age of Faith” series, I started with Dreamspell, a manuscript written in the space between leaving the general market and committing to the inspirational market. This “clean read” romance that moves between the twenty-first century and the middle ages now stands as my fifteenth published novel. And—dare I say it?—is one of my favorites.

I freely dare say it – I love Dreamspell. I think it’s a delicious read about both love and loss, two integral aspects of life that span the barriers of time. And what a great idea, using a stand-alone book like this to launch this new avenue of self-publishing!

elton-john_platform_shoes_stage-outfitSpeaking of self-publishing, my next question should come as no surprise. Platform. And I’m not talking Elton John boots. What do you feel is your most effective platform-building tool—Facebook, your blog, Pinterest, Twitter? Something else? Why?

Tamara: Ah, platform building… First a little history. When I was first published in 1994, publishers were far from keen on authors contributing to marketing efforts. In fact, they could get downright upset about it (do I have a tale to tell). By the time I was published in the inspirational market, much of that responsibility had been passed from the broad shoulders of publishers to the narrow shoulders of authors. No longer was I simply expected to write books and show up for signings. I was expected to contribute to marketing efforts which meant carving time out of my writing schedule and money out of my advance. Now if you’re undertaking publication on your own, it will cost even more of your writing time and, most likely, a bigger chunk of a non-existent advance. The good news is that social media, including  Facebook, Pinterest, Goodreads, Twitter, and blogging makes it easier than ever for authors to reach the reading public. I’ve incorporated all of these into building awareness of my books and, I believe, each is effective to some degree. Unfortunately, not only am I too un-savvy to measure just how effective they are, but I haven’t had the time to explore them much beyond enjoying them. But I do have to say Pinterest is the most fun—and blogging (love sharing recipes).

blackberry-and-wine-crumble

One of my favorites: Tamara’s Blackberry & Wine Crumble

Oh yes. Love them recipes. So let’s talk about food. As the Kitchen Novelist, you make all kinds of fantastic dishes and post them for us readers and followers to experience in our own kitchens. Thank you, by the way. Many an evening meal has been a success, thanks to you. Do you have a favorite writing food – must-have munchies that you keep on hand for those “Git ‘er done” days? Do your characters have a favorite food?

Tamara: Why, thank you, Becky. I’ve enjoyed sharing my successes in the kitchen—probably my biggest writing distraction, but a girl has to eat and the tastier the better. So, a favorite writing food… I’ll have to go with a drink since that’s what I usually tote to the sunroom for those writing sprees (or order at my local Starbucks). Enter Caramel Macchiato, and not for the caffeine since it has little noticeable effect on me. If I have the munchies, I add a biscotti for dunking. Characters’ favorite food? Well, there were the Jelly Bellys that Harriet in Splitting Harriet indulged in more than she should have. Candy is a food, right?

Candy. Um, it’s definitely on MY food pyramid.

Okay. One last personal question for you, and then we’ll talk about the ‘Age of Faith’ series, and The Redeeming, which releases today! It’s a fact: Writers include bits and pieces of themselves and those around them in their stories. Is there a character, in particular, who is most like you in the ‘Age of Faith’ books? Can you tell us about him or her?

Tamara: You’re right, authors and those with whom they surround themselves do tend to make appearances in an author’s characters. However, for me it’s not a conscious process, and I’m often surprised when a friend or family member points out those bits and pieces. Though I can’t say which of my characters is most like me, I would love to have some of the strength and spirit of Lady Annyn in The Unveiling, the deep, unfaltering faith of Lady Beatrix in The Yielding, and the fortitude of Lady Gaenor in The Redeeming.

Lovely answer, and having read the first two books, I can see why you chose each of those characteristics as ones you’d want to see in yourself. So far, I relate most closely to LadyAnnyn. The model on the cover looks a lot like my daughter, Erin, but that’s not why. The reason is because I’m a fighter. I’m a warrior, a Braveheart. I’ve self-diagnosed my condition as “Oppositional Disorder.” But like Annyn, I can’t stand being told I “can’t do something” for WHATEVER reason, and I’ll fight long and hard for something or someone I believe in.

Today, the 3rd and final book in the ‘Age of Faith’ series, The Redeeming, releases – CONGRATULATIONS! Let me just give our readers a quick rundown of the series.

The-Unveiling-Tamara-LeighThe Unveiling

12th century England: Two men vie for the throne: King Stephen the usurper and young Duke Henry the rightful heir. Amid civil and private wars, alliances are forged, loyalties are betrayed, families are divided, and marriages are made.

For four years, Lady Annyn Bretanne has trained at arms with one end in mind—to avenge her brother’s murder as God has not deemed it worthy to do. Disguised as a squire, she sets off to exact revenge on a man known only by his surname, Wulfrith. But when she holds his fate in her hands, her will wavers and her heart whispers that her enemy may not be an enemy after all.

Baron Wulfrith, renowned trainer of knights, allows no women within his walls for the distraction they breed. What he never expects is that the impetuous young man sent to train under him is a woman who seeks his death—nor that her unveiling will test his faith and distract the warrior from his purpose.

The-Yielding-Tamara-LeighThe Yielding

In The Unveiling, the first book in the Age of Faith series,readers are introduced to the formidable Wulfrith family during Duke Henry’s battle for England’s throne in 1153. Now, four years later, Henry wears the crown, but the Wulfriths are no less defiant—and no more amenable to forging alliances through king-decreed marriage.

SHE HAD KILLED A MAN. OR SO IT WAS SAID…

Convent-bound Lady Beatrix Wulfrith is determined to aid her sister in escaping marriage to their family’s enemy. Unaware of the sacrifice that awaits her, she leads their pursuers astray only to meet with an accident that forever alters her destiny and takes the life of a young knight whose brother vows he will not rest until the lady is brought to justice.

Lord Michael D’Arci is a warrior and a womanizer whose foul mouth and impatience bode ill for all who trespass against him. Falsely accused of ravishment years earlier, he refuses to believe Lady Beatrix’s accusations against his deceased brother. However, when he finds himself at the mercy of that same woman who clings to her convictions and faith even when it threatens to prove her undoing, his quest for justice wavers.

The-Redeeming-Tamara-LeighThe Redeeming

IN THE EYES OF THE CHURCH AND MEN, HERS IS NO SMALL SIN

Lady Gaenor Wulfrith is a woman scorned. And King Henry’s pawn. After three broken betrothals, she is ordered to wed her family’s enemy, a man she has never met and has good reason to fear. Faced with the prospect of an abusive marriage that will surely turn worse for her when her sin is revealed, she flees her family’s home with the aid of a knight—a man who could prove her ruin.

Christian Lavonne, the only remaining heir to the barony of Abingdale, has thrown off his monk’s robes—and God—to minister his lands. Determined to end the devastation wrought by his family’s feud with the Wulfriths, he agrees to marry his enemy’s sister, a woman no man seems to want. When he learns she has fled with a knight who has broken fealty with the Wulfriths, he pursues her, knowing that when they meet his own sin will be revealed and he will be as much in need of redemption as the woman who may carry another man’s child.

All three of these books are available at Amazon, along with the majority of the books from Tamara’s writing career!

Tamara, thank you so much for being here today. I know this was a long interview, but I’m so intrigued by the different routes authors take in their careers! And congratulations on a STELLAR run for you – 3 books released last year, and now this one! I can’t wait to read The Redeeming!  Hey, let’s go grab a couple of those Caramel Macchiatos to revive us, shall we?

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Tamara has generously offered an e-book of your choice to one lucky reader today!

The winner will be drawn on Thursday at 6 pm Pacific, May 30th, and announced Friday, May 31st,  when I post my review of Dreamspell!

Leave a comment below with your name, your email address in non-spam format (becky at beckydoughty dot com), and tell us your favorite genre to READ. Also, be sure and let us know which of the books you’d like!

Review: The Tutor’s Daughter by Julie Klassen

The Tutor's DaughterFrom the Back of the Book:

Emma Smallwood, determined to help her widowed father regain his spirits when his academy fails, agrees to travel with him to the distant Cornwall coast, to the cliff-top manor of a baronet and his four sons. But after they arrive and begin teaching the younger boys, mysterious things begin to happen and danger mounts. Who does Emma hear playing the pianoforte, only to find the music room empty? Who sneaks into her room at night? Who rips a page from her journal, only to return it with a chilling illustration?

The baronet’s older sons, Phillip and Henry, wrestle with problems–and secrets–of their own. They both remember Emma Smallwood from their days at her father’s academy. She had been an awkward, studious girl. But now one of them finds himself unexpectedly drawn to her.

When the suspicious acts escalate, can the clever tutor’s daughter figure out which brother to blame…and which brother to trust with her heart?

From Me:

One of the things I like about Julie’s novels is the way she’s able to capture the “Gothic regency” feel while keeping her story real and believable. Her books usually center around some dark, family secret, and develop around some intriguing historically accurate event or belief or practice. The Tutor’s Daughter was true to form.

Julie KlassenThe Tutor’s Daughter begins in a common boarding school setting, made uncommon by the fact that a teenage Emma Smallwood (doesn’t that name just SOUND like a tutor’s daughter? Love it!) is actively teaching and administrating in the school, even though she is similar in age to many of the students. This has come about because of her mother’s untimely death, leaving her father in a state of grief that seems to rob him of his will to keep the school up and running. Emma does everything she can to keep their doors open, but she’s fighting a losing battle without her father’s support. When an offer comes for the tutor and his daughter to come and privately teach the younger sons of a patron whose older sons attended the Smallwood school, Emma encourages her father to do so.

Although Emma and her father are at Ebbington Manor to teach the younger brothers, it is the two older brothers, the two who spent a few years with the Smallwoods, with whom Emma has a love/hate relationship – one she believes she loves, the other she believes she hates. When her world is turned upside down and inside out by the machinations of a whole household in the grips of fear and pride and sin, Emma learns that second chances are often a direct result from forgiveness.

The story unfolds to reveal that not all is as it seems, that love can be blind, that hatred can be even blinder. Julie tackles tough subjects like mental illness, poverty, and class, and the age-old process of learning to forgive God when we feel He has wronged us in some way.

Another great book by the delightful Julie Klassen!

Disclaimer: Received this book through NetGalley (www.netgalley.com) from the publisher, Bethany House, for review purposes.

Have you read Julie Klassen? Do you have a favorite book by this author?

Tweetables in INDIGO ~ URL links in MAROON

scroll dividerTamara LeighJoin me this Friday as we chat with Tamara Leigh, and celebrate the release of the third book in her Age of Faith series, The Redeeming!

Review: Wishing on Willows by Katie Ganshert

Wishing On Willows

From the Back of the Book:

Does a second chance at life and love always involve surrender?
 
A three-year old son, a struggling café, and fading memories are all Robin Price has left of her late husband. As the proud owner of Willow Tree Café in small town Peaks, Iowa,  she pours her heart into every muffin she bakes and espresso she pulls, thankful for the sense of purpose and community the work provides.

So when developer Ian McKay shows up in Peaks with plans to build condos where her café and a vital town ministry are located, she isn’t about to let go without a fight.

As stubborn as he is handsome, Ian won’t give up easily. His family’s business depends on his success in Peaks. But as Ian pushes to seal the deal, he wonders if he has met his match. Robin’s gracious spirit threatens to undo his resolve, especially when he discovers the beautiful widow harbors a grief that resonates with his own.

With polarized opinions forming all over town, business becomes unavoidably personal and Robin and Ian must decide whether to cling to the familiar or surrender their plans to the God of Second Chances.

From Me:

Katie Ganshert does it again. This second book about the folks in Peaks is as charming as her first, Wildflowers from Winter. Wildflowers from winterFrom the beginning, she had me hooked by the glimpse into Robin’s life with her beloved Micah. But Robin is a widow now, raising the child she and Micah prayed for and the operating the café they dreamed up together, on her own. When Ian McKay sweeps into town, he stirs up a little more than dust. He stirs up trouble for the whole town, inadvertently drawing a line that forces the residents to take one side or the other… for or against Robin and her Willow Tree café.

Katie paints a bittersweet story with her words, one of suffering great loss, of slow healing that’s sometimes even more painful than the wounds and losses themselves, and one of grace and second chances. Her characters resonate with us readers because they’re genuine, with genuine emotions, genuine issues, and genuine growth. One of my pet peeves is characters who overreact to situations, making a story feel contrived. Katie avoids that while keeping the tension high in the right places and by weaving in the underlying feeling of movement towards second chances going strong.

Like Robin’s piano-playing, Wishing on Willows is a living, breathing melody that lingers long after the last note fades away.

Lovely – looking forward to book three.

Disclaimer: Received this e-book from the publisher for the review purposes.

scroll dividerToday, I’m also posting on Splickety Magazine – Are You Tense About Verb Tense?

Elderberry Croft: Part 5

May Enchantment

Elderberry Croft Home

Welcome to Elderberry Croft

A Serial Book Written in Twelve Monthly Episodes

The residents of The Coach House Trailer Park are just as run-down as the park itself. In fact, they’ve all come here to die. Then one day, on a crisp January breeze, Willow Goodhope sweeps into the neighborhood. She moves into the lonely little shack on the other side of the driveway, bringing her potted plants, her Elderberry gifts, and her outrageous laughter. The Coach House residents can’t resist her charm as she breathes new life into hardened hearts, but there’s something about Willow, a terrible sadness that hovers at the back of her enigmatic eyes, and it has everyone talking, wondering, worrying. Kathy overhears her sobbing in her kitchen. Doc catches her burning letters in her fire pit. Myra swears she drinks alone out on her patio in the middle of the night. Patti knows the beautiful girl is after her husband, and Eddie and Donny, forever-feuding brothers, are competing to see who can make her smile first, even though they’re both fairly sure she’d prefer her men with real jobs, real homes, and real teeth. What–or who–is haunting the mysterious Willow Goodhope of Elderberry Croft? Will her new “family” be able to rescue her before it’s too late?

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Part 1: January Breeze

Part 2: February Embers

Part 3: March Whispers

Part 4: April Shadows

Part 5: May Enchantment

Brothers

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Chapter 1

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The man had not been back.

He assured her of it repeatedly.

She was crying. She was trying not to, he could tell, but the tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes anyway. Well, shoot. What was he supposed to do now? Wait for her to get a hold of herself? Or just keep talking like he didn’t notice?

“Go on,” she urged, as though reading his mind.

“Well, he just walked on out of here and disappeared into the night. I’ve been watching for him since, and so has Doc, but we haven’t seen anything suspicious ‘round here for weeks now.” Eddie reached up with both hands, and roughly curled the bill of his Flying J baseball cap, settling it more firmly on his head. “Look, I didn’t tell you this to get you all nervous and worked up. I wasn’t even going to say anything, because people tend to start acting paranoid about every rustle in the bushes they hear outside their windows at night, but I figure you and the other girls back here ought to know, just so you keep your doors locked and have your antennas up.” He knew he sounded cranky, but she was making him nervous, making him jabber away like a little schoolgirl. If she’d got all freaked out and scared, the way Myra did, he’d have been better equipped, but Willow Goodhope’s teary-eyed stare made him squirm.

He took a deep breath to steady his nerves, and opened his mouth to speak, then he paused, catching a whiff of something familiar in the air, like woodshop and mineral oil. Naw, couldn’t be. There was nothing but flowers everywhere he turned. “So anyway, I still have to go talk to Kathy. You gonna be all right?”

“Thank you for letting me know, Eddie. Yes. I’ll be fine.” They stood at her front door, beneath the hand-painted sign that read Elderberry Croft. He shuffled his weight back and forth over his feet, not knowing what to do with his hands. He took a step backward, and bumped up against a potted plant.

“Dang it!” He reached down quickly to right the pot before it toppled over. Getting to Willow’s front door was like an obstacle course for a big man like himself, and he preferred to catch her when she was outside already. Today, though, after walking by her place three different times, he’d finally sucked it up, and knocked on her closed door. Nothing about this visit was easy, and he quickly made his way off the front stoop before he had any other mishaps.

“Eddie?”

He paused just past the steps, but when she didn’t continue, he wondered if he’d just imagined it. Well, he couldn’t stand there all day. “Did you need something else?”

“Did you see him? His face?” Her voice sounded tight, uncertain. “Do you know what he looks like?”

Eddie shook his head. “Nope. I only caught a glimpse of him from a distance. And it was at night. I could tell he wasn’t a big guy, seemed a little shorter than I am.” He took off his hat and scratched the top of his head. “But you might want to ask Shelly, over in Space Eight, about him. She noticed him first.” He returned the cap to his head, and glancing over at the little stream dividing the front of The Coach House Trailer Park from the back of the property, he paused, remembering something. “When he passed under the light on your bridge, I could see he had kinda longish hair. Dark. Not like Jesus long. Like it’s been a while since he’s seen a barber. Like me.” He shrugged. “But he didn’t turn around, so I didn’t see his face.”

Willow stood in her doorway, under the shadowy front porch, but he could see her nod, almost as though she’d expected to hear those words from him.

“Do you have an idea who it might be?” he prompted. “Is it someone you know?”

She just shook her head, and Eddie didn’t know what else to say, so he turned and walked away.

This was one part of his job he didn’t like, all this emotional hoopla. Most of the time, folks at The Coach House Trailer Park just kept to themselves. Except for when they paid their space rentals, he only really mingled with the ladies if they needed something fixed or had issues with the property, like falling branches, or stray animals. Some of the tenants got together on Myra’s front porch in the evenings, playing poker for cigarettes and lottery tickets, and he’d stop in if there wasn’t a game on, but he just didn’t have what it took to feel comfortable around people on a regular basis.

Oh, he didn’t mind sitting in his mom’s trailer over a meal of pot roast and potatoes, but then, she did all the talking, not expecting him to do more than grunt a few times in agreement with whatever she was yabbering on about. She really didn’t want his opinions, anyway. That’s what she had Donny for.

Donny was the thinker. Donny was the philosopher. Donny was the lady’s man. Donny was the mama’s boy. Donny, Donny, Donny.

Yeah, well, Donny couldn’t keep a job any longer than he could keep a girlfriend. Except for Sheena. For some reason, Sheena kept taking him back. Oh, she’d warn him. She’d threaten him within an inch of his life, but he always screwed up. And Sheena always kicked him out. Then he’d apologize, flash those girly eyes at her—no man should have eyes like Donny’s—and Sheena always took him back.

There was a time when Eddie could have cared less, mainly because he knew Donny for what he was; a lazy, good-for-nothing scoundrel. Because Eddie saw through his charm and good looks, he had no trouble resisting his kid brother when he asked for money, a job, beer, gas for his car, a place to stay. He didn’t know Sheena from the Easter bunny, so if the girl wanted to play games with Donny, who was Eddie to step in and spoil their fun?

Until the time Sheena came running to Eddie for advice and comfort, and Eddie discovered something about Donny he couldn’t say no to.

Donny’s girl.

Donny had never forgiven him, and Eddie couldn’t forgive Donny for being the one Sheena wanted. It made no difference to his heart that Sheena had always belonged to his brother, that Eddie was just the rebound guy. It didn’t matter that Sheena felt “alive and on fire” when she was with Donny. All that mattered to Eddie’s heart was the way she’d nestled against his side, and whispered that she’d never felt so safe and protected than she did when she was tucked under his wing.

A few weeks ago, Donny moved back in with Mom again. Eddie tried not to think about what his brother must have done to Sheena to make her kick him out this time. Part of him wanted to call her, to make sure she was okay, to be there for her; but he knew better.

“Mind your own Jim Beam, Eddie,” he muttered in a voice that sounded a lot like his father’s. “Stay out of the sty and you won’t smell like manure.” Except Eddie’s words weren’t slurred. And Jim Beam was just a figure of speech to him.

Eddie had dated a few times. Once seriously, in fact. But then his stomach started acting up and he’d been diagnosed with the big C in his colon. The cancer had been obliterated with drugs, radiation, and a surgery that left him with a bag grafted to his abdomen, just below his belt line.  He decided it was more than any woman should have to handle—the smell, the sight, the hassle, his potentially early death—and he broke it off with Leanne. Sadly, she’d seemed relieved when he did, confirming his decision. He’d lost a few pounds, then gained them all back again and more, but he’d kept his resolve to not saddle anyone else with his problems.

He certainly hadn’t told Donny. And unless Leanne had spilled her guts, not even Mom knew how sick he’d been. But then, Mom didn’t really want to know about stuff like that. She didn’t want to consider the fact that Eddie might die before she did. She didn’t want to admit that her precious baby boy, Donny, was a loser. Nor did she want to believe that when Dad left a few years ago, it wasn’t a round trip.

That man hadn’t been back, either.

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Chapter 2

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Files

Kathy was completely unconcerned about the stranger, but not in a way that made him feel any better. She’d seen the man, too, but hadn’t given him much thought; at least not enough to bother mentioning him to Eddie. She’d been working in her yard one night when he came by, and they’d greeted each other pleasantly.

“He didn’t act like he had anything to hide,” she said.

“In the middle of the night? You didn’t think that was a little strange? Didn’t bother asking what he was doing here, walking around in the dark?” Eddie couldn’t understand this woman any better than he could Willow Goodhope, but for very different reasons.

“I don’t keep track of the time, Eddie. You know that. It could have been ten o’clock in the morning, for all I know. I was up, why shouldn’t he be?” She hadn’t paid any more attention to him after he’d wished her a good evening. “I just assumed he was visiting someone back here and was taking a stroll around the neighborhood, or heading home. I saw nothing suspicious about him.”

“Well, do me a favor. The next time you see him, please call me. He doesn’t belong back here, and we don’t need any trouble.”

“Oh, I don’t—”

“Just do it, Kathy. Please. He has no business being back here. None. Got it?”

“Sure, sure. I just hope I don’t see him.” Her voice petulant, Kathy scooped up the cat that was tangling itself between her legs, and turned without another word, her dogs following on her heels.

“Women,” Eddie grumbled, as he hitched up his jeans, and headed back across the bridge to his own place. Today, having dealt with a few too many of them, and all their frustrating emotions, he was reminded again of why single worked just fine for him.

Sure, a warm body in his bed, a tender word to start the day, a feminine touch here and there in his trailer, none of that would be a problem. In fact, he’d be the first to admit he’d like those things, especially if it all came with someone who liked to make a good steak and egg burrito, and didn’t mind washing a few clothes. But the ups and downs of a woman’s mood, the unpredictability of their very nature; he just didn’t have it in him to take one on full time.

Mounting the three steps of his little stoop, he paused when he heard his name. Turning, he saw Myra scurrying across the driveway toward him. Now what?

“Have you heard anything about Shadowman?”

He reached for the dulled knob on his door and gave it a good tug. “Who?” It stuck at the top corner—he’d been meaning to shave it down for months—and it came open suddenly in his hand, nearly knocking him off the top step. “What in tarnation are you talking about, Myra?”

“Shadowman. The man in the shadows. That’s what we’re calling him.”

“Good King Midas, Myra. Are you serious? You named him? He’s just a guy, not some evil super villain.”

“Well, he’s obviously up to no good, sneaking around our homes in the dead of night. Have you called the police? I mean, this kind of thing could really affect my health, Eddie. My heart can’t take the stress, you know. My doctor says I could go at any time.”

Eddie took a deep breath, then let it out very slowly, squinting his eyes as he looked past Myra to the front door of her trailer. How he wished he could just put his hands on her scrawny little shoulders, turn her around, and send her marching right back across the drive. At least when she was standing on her own porch, hollering at him in her scratchy voice, he could pretend not to understand what she was saying.

“Look, Myra. Doc is keeping an eye out at that end of the park, and I’m—”

“Doc? You expect Doc to catch him? Once Doc takes his sleeping pill, you couldn’t wake him up with a baseball bat! Ai-yi-yi, Eddie. We’re all going to be killed in our sleep!”

“Myra. Myra!” He said her name twice before she clamped her mouth shut and stopped waving her hands in the air. They stared at each other a few moments, a stand-off of sorts, then Myra harrumphed, spun on her heels, and went home. Eddie leaned forward and banged his forehead on the edge of his door.

Closing it behind him in relief, he thought about the varied reactions he’d been getting over this stranger in the park. In a way, he understood Myra and her over-the-top fear. He didn’t like the uncertainty the guy stirred up around here, either. In a way, he understood Shelly’s calm concern, the woman who’d first reported seeing the man. He even understood Kathy’s reservations to get anyone in trouble. Eddie didn’t need the hassle that came with involving the police in the affairs of the park. This was his little kingdom, and he preferred to keep things to a dull roar around here. But why did the news make Willow Goodhope cry? It seemed such a strange reaction to him. Was it someone she knew, after all? And if so, why would she deny it?

Inside his circa 1970s trailer, he dropped into the faux leather office chair at his Formica-topped desk. He’d had the chair for so long, it had conformed to the shape of his backside, but it was comfortable, and no one else sat in it, so there was no one to complain about it. Besides, it had a high backrest, fully padded, and for someone as tall as he was, being able to rest your head on the back of a chair was a luxury. Sliding out the file drawer where he kept all the folders on tenants, he pulled Willow’s out and opened it on his desk. He wasn’t sure what he was looking for, and he felt a little shady digging around in her business, but the more he thought about her reaction today, the more he thought he might be missing something.

Her next of kin contact was her father, Jackson Goodhope, who lived in a retirement facility the next town over. She had references from past jobs; a receptionist in a doctor’s office, a coffee barista, even a volunteer at a wildlife preserve where she’d been a field guide for student days. Everything panned out. Nothing suspicious.

So what was she crying about? Was it just one of those irrational fears women have, like being afraid of lizards or crickets? Eddie closed the file and leaned back in his chair, bringing his arms up and linking his fingers together behind his head. His eyes lingered on the tab of the file that read “Space 12” on it, scribbled in blue ink, his penmanship barely legible. Why did women have to be so hard to figure out; this one in particular?

A tentative knock on his door startled him, and he sat forward quickly, his right knee banging into the open file drawer. “Dang it!”

Hobbling to the door, he thrust a shoulder into it, expecting it to stick as usual.

It didn’t.

Eddie stumbled forward, the door swinging wide, bumping hard against the person on the other side. He watched in horror as Willow Goodhope’s arms flailed in circles, grasping for anything to keep from going backward down the three steps. Lunging for her, he grabbed the flap of her jacket just in time, and yanked her upright, bringing her hard up against him.

She, in turn, clutched at his shoulders, holding on to him like he’d just hauled her out of a nest of baby rattlers.

Eddie released his grip on her clothing and stood, stiff as a barn door, both hands spread out at his sides, desperate to shut out the immediate awareness of the woman leaning on him, and the fresh-cut wood smell of her hair rising up to taunt his senses.

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Chapter 3

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One room cottage

Women like Willow Goodhope didn’t lean on men like Eddie Banks. They hung on the arms of pretty boys like Brad Pitt. Women like Willow didn’t even go for guys like Donny; they knew better.

She stepped away suddenly, as if realizing his thoughts, clenching and unclenching her fists in front of her.

Eddie glared over her head at Myra’s front window where the curtain moved unnaturally, and muttered, “My fault. The door didn’t stick.”

When she didn’t respond, he looked down at her, and saw the confusion on her face. He tried to explain. “My door always sticks. I always have to shove on it. This time it didn’t stick.” What an idiot he must sound like to her. “I didn’t mean to launch you off the porch.”

She began to smile, then she covered her mouth with her hand. A moment later, a laugh burst out between her fingers, and Eddie took a step back, eyes widening. It wasn’t exactly a cackle, but the woman’s laugh sounded more like something that would come out of a truck driver, than a red-haired tree hugger.

“Oh Eddie,” she gasped, when she’d caught her breath enough to speak. She reached up and swept back the wild curls from her face; her hair had come loose from the clip holding it all at the back of her head. She straightened her jacket. “I’m just glad you caught me. I don’t fall well, believe me. I rarely get seriously hurt, but I bruise like there’s no tomorrow, and with skin this pale, every color of the rainbow makes an appearance.”

Eddie eyed her, not sure what to say. He felt compelled to say something, anything, but for the life of his mother, he couldn’t think of a blasted thing.

“Anyway, thank you,” she smiled, filling in for his lack of words. “Um, do you have a minute? Can I talk to you?”

“Sure.” He could answer a direct question. “Come on in.” He tipped his head toward the sofa that dwarfed his narrow living room.

“Oh. Okay.”

He sensed her hesitation, but not understanding it, he held his door open and waited for her to precede him inside. She entered, but stood just to one side of the entry, making him step around her. Her eyes darted around the room, and it finally occurred to him that she was not comfortable being inside and alone with him.

Of course not. He’d been inside her cottage a month after she moved in, fixing the leaky faucet in her kitchen, and nothing in his place could hold a candle to her antique furniture and fancy trinkets scattered strategically around the room. Somehow, she made the little shack at Space Twelve look like the  hideaway of some gypsy princess, the way she draped colorful fabric around the room and hung strings of lights everywhere. His brown room, with its brown furniture, and brown carpet, was foreign territory to someone like Willow Goodhope.

With the toe of his boot, he flipped up the corner of the rubber welcome mat, using it to prop the door open. That should ease her mind. “What can I do for you?”

She smiled gratefully, silently acknowledging his actions. “I need to talk to you about that man.”

“Okay.” He could tell she was struggling over what she wanted to say, but he made the decision not to care. If she was going to judge him based on his circumstances, then she was just more validation for his choices in the relationship department.

“I… I think I might know who he is. Was. Is.” She paused, and he said nothing, not willing to make this easier for her. She chewed on her bottom lip and gazed over her shoulder out the open door before continuing.

“I think it might be my husband. My ex-husband. Or something like that.”

If she’d said she thought the man was Santa Claus, he might have been less surprised. “What does that mean? Something like a husband? Are you married or not?”

And blast it all, there she was, tearing up again. Eddie scrubbed his jaw with the palm of his hand. “Okay, look. It doesn’t matter to me, not really. All that matters is this: Do you want him here?”

“N-n-no,” she stammered, her voice wavering.

“Then that makes him a trespasser. If I run into him again, I’ll let him know he’s not welcome on the property. If he comes back after that, I’ll call the cops. They can be here right quick; the station is just up the road, less than a mile.”

“Oh, I don’t think you’ll have to go that far, Eddie. If it’s my—him, he won’t want the police involved.” She crossed her arms like a shield in front of her, stilling the tremble in her hands by squeezing her upper arms. “I—I just thought you should know.”

An unexpected urge flooded over him, something uncomfortably familiar to what he felt when he thought of Sheena. Eddie turned away, scoffing at his momentary sentiment; as though Willow would ever look to a guy like him for anything but fixing her toilet. He straightened the folders on his desk, tucking hers beneath the others, hoping she hadn’t already seen it. Where were these ridiculous notions of protectiveness coming from?

“So, does that mean he’s not dangerous? Or that he’s so dangerous, he can’t afford to get the police involved?” His abrasive tone reflected his thoughts, and from the corner of his eyes, he saw her flinch at his questions.

“He’s not dangerous,” she murmured, her eyes downcast, one booted foot twisting nervously. “If it’s him, he wouldn’t want the police involved for my sake.”

Eddie cleared his throat. “You’re not making this any easier on me, Willow.” He leaned back against the edge of the desk, and pinned her with a dubious look. “What does that mean? Are you hiding from the police?”

“No!” Willow’s eyes shot up to meet his, and she waved her hands frantically between them. “Oh no, it’s not like that at all. He just knows I don’t like drama in my life, and he would feel terrible if the police showed up on my doorstep because of him.”

Eddie reached up to grab the bill of his cap before remembering he’d tossed it on the sofa when he came inside. He rubbed the back of his neck instead, his frown deepening. “Woman, you make no sense to me whatsoever. You stir up drama everywhere you go. The Davis’ haven’t stopped talking about that anniversary party you threw them. Kathy thinks you’re some kind of forest elf-girl. Joe introduced his wife to me last month, because you told him to man up. And now Shelly? She hasn’t set foot outside her house in years, at least not during the daylight hours, but yesterday,” he waved a hand toward his kitchen counter across the room. “She showed up with that basket of muffins, to thank me for looking out for all you ladies out back. She said you gave her the recipe.” He shook a thick finger at her. “You’re more excitement than this park has seen in all the years I’ve been working here, so don’t try to tell me you don’t like drama.”

“Oh.” Her voice was still small, but he thought he saw a flicker of pleasure on her face.

“Yeah. Oh.” He rolled his eyes good naturedly. “So, just give me the facts, okay? Do I need to be worried about this guy, if he even is your husband-ex-husband-or-something-like-it? Or do I just need to ask him nicely not to show his face around here anymore?”

Willow smiled openly now. “If it is my husband-ex-husband-or-something-like-it, asking him nicely will do just fine.”

What was wrong with him? Why on earth did that tiny glimpse of her smile make his chest tighten? Why did he want nothing more than to see another one, a bigger one, to hear that ridiculous laugh of hers again?

He started toward her, and she side-stepped, skittish as a wild animal in a cage. What was she so afraid of? His voice was brisk, but low. “Just getting the door for you.” He flattened the mat with his foot, pushed the door open a little wider, and stepped back to give her plenty of space.

She slipped out side and down the steps, turning around to face him on the last one. “Thank you, Eddie. Thank you for looking out for us girls.” She tucked a stray curl behind her ear and grinned. “Enjoy those muffins; they’re my favorite!”

Eddie just nodded as the girl scampered off, taking her sunshine smile with her. But the smell of fresh cut pine lingered in the air inside his trailer.

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Chapter 4

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Shadowman

Husband-ex-husband-or-something-like-it. Eddie couldn’t get his mind off her words. That night, even the Laker game didn’t hold his attention for very long. “Ridiculous,” he muttered, shaking his head. “Complete nonsense.” But what stuck in his craw was the way she’d said those words. Like she was scared. Or wary. Or a little lost.

For some inconceivable reason, it reminded him of when he learned about the golf ball sized tumor growing in his colon. Suddenly, at forty-one years old, he was reduced to a lost little boy, his self-reliance and confidence imploding into a mass of fear that writhed and whorled in the pit of his stomach. Every day became a battle between putting on a brave front and facing the world as though nothing was wrong, and climbing behind the wheel of his beat-up F150, and driving as fast and far away from the truth as he could.

But the residents of the Coach House needed him—they always did. And he always answered the phone, the door. Each new day kept showing up, whether he wanted it to or not, and with it came wasp nests in the laundry room and broken water heaters. When he finally worked up the courage to go under the knife, he told everyone he was taking a long-overdue vacation, and even his mother thought it was about time. She arranged for Donny to cover for him, and Eddie arranged for Doc to babysat Donny.

Doc knew about the bag attached to the hole in Eddie’s gut. Once Leanne left, he had to tell someone, just in case there were complications. But Doc also knew how to keep secrets, because Doc had a few secrets of his own, and if there ever was anyone Eddie wanted at his back, it was the seasoned soldier. And Eddie was big enough that he wasn’t afraid of the old coot when he went into one of his post-traumatic-stress episodes. Besides, if it came right down to it, he’d rather meet death at the business end of a loaded .45, than at the end of a long, painful journey, while being eaten up from the inside out.

That was four years ago, and Eddie was no longer afraid of death. He was still a little leery about really living, but he’d grown accustomed to his lot in life, and comfortable in his lowered expectations.

Then came Willow Goodhope. People all over the park were talking about her. Myra insisted she was an angel sent from Heaven to help prepare the way for those who’d be leaving earth soon. Al, in his trailer near the park entrance, confided to Eddie last month that he now kept his blinds open in the afternoon. “That little strawberry checks her mail every day at three-thirty, sharp. I set all my clocks by her,” he explained, tapping the watch on his wrist, and blushing a little redder under his naturally ruddy complexion. Doc just grinned every time her name came up, but he never said a word.

Donny, thank God, had yet to meet her, but now that he was living with Mom again, he would find a reason to do so, Eddie was sure of it. He clenched his teeth at the notion of his kid brother flashing his girly eyes at her. Surely, Willow was smarter than that. Surely, she was smarter.

But what if she wasn’t? What if, while cut loose from Sheena, Donny figured out how to work his way under Willow’s skin? What if Donny learned the secret to making her smile, or even laugh, before Eddie did?

What if—No! Eddie surged up off the sofa and stomped into the kitchen, jerking open the door of his brown refrigerator. The shelves were nearly empty. They were always nearly empty. He opened the cupboard door to where he kept his packaged foods and canned goods. Not much to choose from there, either.

The basket from Shelly Little still sat at the end of the counter, and he crossed over to it, pulling out the last of the six muffins she’d given him, the one he’d been saving for breakfast tomorrow. He would call Mom in the morning and see if she’d scramble some eggs for him.

Three bites in, the phone rang, startling him, so that he dropped the muffin on the floor. Cursing mildly, he scooped it up, brushed it off, and set it back in the basket before reaching for the handset on his desk.

“Eddie here.” He sighed, preparing himself mentally for whatever emergency awaited him on the other end of the line. It was too late for social calls.

“This is Shelly Little in Space Eight. I’m sorry to bother you so late.” Eddie straightened immediately, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling his skin. This was the second phone call he’d received from the woman in so many weeks, and he knew, before she said anything else, exactly why she was calling.

“He’s back, Eddie. He just walked by my place.” She sounded calm and steady, just as she had the last time she reported the stranger, her voice somehow soothing to his frazzled nerves.

“I’ll be right there.” He almost hung up, but then brought the phone back to his mouth. “Thanks for calling me, Shelly.”

“Of course.” Then the phone hummed in his ear, and he punched the end button with his thumb, tossing it onto the sofa as he passed by. He shoved his socked feet inside his work boots, grabbed the industrial-size Maglite off the coffee table, and thrust his shoulder into the door. Ironically, it stuck fast, and he had to push much harder than usual.

Eddie made his way over the bridge, the moon bright enough that he didn’t need any extra light. He paused when he reached the walkway leading to Shelly’s front porch, but her house was shrouded in darkness, so he kept going. Apparently, she felt confident that he could handle the task at hand, and it bolstered him a little.

Just around the bend, he spotted the man walking slowly, almost carelessly, his feet scuffling the gravel with each step. His hands were in the pockets of his pants, and he wore a flannel shirt, the ends flapping a little in the faint breeze sweeping down from the bank of hills behind the park. He clearly wasn’t going for stealth.

“Hey.” Eddie spoke quietly, knowing his voice would carry and be easily heard. Sure enough, the guy turned to look over his shoulder, then stopped altogether, and waited for Eddie to catch up to him.

They stood a few feet apart, just past Joe’s driveway. “What’s up?” Eddie wasn’t interested in playing guessing games with the stranger, but his nonchalance left Eddie feeling uncertain about how best to address the situation.

In the moonlight, the man’s face looked rather gaunt, the shadows making his features bold, and a little fierce. He kept his hands in his pockets, and nodded a greeting. “Hey.”

“Can I help you? Are you here visiting someone?”

“No. Just taking a walk.”

It wasn’t the answer Eddie was looking for. He crossed his arms, filling his lungs with air, making himself appear even bigger than he already was. He knew how to do intimidating. “This is private property. If you’re not here as a guest of one of the residents, you’re trespassing, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Just then, a light blinked on in Willow’s cottage, and the stranger turned toward it. Eddie scowled at the raw hunger he saw etched in the man’s features. He flipped the switch on his flashlight and pointed it directly in the stranger’s face. “What’s your name?” There was no way he was going to let this creep leave now.

He turned and looked straight at Eddie, that emptied-out look still there, in spite of the bright light making him squint. “Christian Goodhope. Who are you?”

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Chapter 5

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Running through the forest

The husband-ex-husband-or-something-like-it.

“I’m Ed Banks. And you’re trespassing.” What the fool kind of name was Christian Goodhope? Sounded like an overgrown choir boy.

“Trespassing? Come on, man. I’m staying on the road. Not bothering anyone.” Christian withdrew his hands from his pockets and Eddie narrowed his eyes in preparation for the stranger’s next move. “I’m just taking a walk.”

“This is a private drive. You’re trespassing.” Eddie said it again, while scrutinizing the guy’s features, memorizing them, making sure he’d remember them if the need arose.

Christian turned away from the blinding beam of the flashlight, squeezed his eyes shut for a few moments, then stared openly at the cottage at the end of the drive. “That’s my wife in there.”

Eddie flinched. He couldn’t help it. He was expecting the guy to claim as much, but he wasn’t prepared for the tangible anguish in his voice. It was like the harsh rasp of metal on metal, brake pads worn down to nothing, jerking, and catching, and screeching all at the same time.

“That’s my wife, man.” When Eddie lowered the flashlight, Christian’s gaze swiveled back to look boldly up at the taller man, and said it a third time. “That’s my wife.”

“Not according to her.” Enough. Eddie wasn’t interested in this guy’s side of the story. Willow had made it very clear that she didn’t want him around, and Eddie intended to honor her wishes and send the guy packing. But not until after he spelled out a few things to this fellow. “That woman is none of your concern, Mr. Goodhope, not while she’s under my care, but I need you to understand something.” He paused for effect, then brought a fist slowly up between them, and pointed at his own chest. “I am your concern. I run this park, and you’re not welcome here.” With his other hand, he waved the heavy flashlight back the way they’d come. “Let’s go.”

“Wait. Please.” Christian lifted a hand and pointed in the direction of Willow’s place. “I’m not bothering her. I’m just checking on her. Making sure she’s okay.” His voice caught, and he cleared his throat, hard. “I just need to know that she’s okay.”

“She’s okay. She’s more than okay. She’s doing great, as you can see for yourself.” The plants on the patio were in full bloom, the vines decorating the front of the cottage like lace in the moonlight. The place, glowing from the inside, looked utterly enchanted. “We’re taking good care of her. Let’s go.”

Christian rocked back on his heels and laced his fingers together on top of his head. It almost looked to Eddie like he was trying to hold his skull together, like he might blow at any minute; not in anger, but in frustration, in pain. “Please,” he whispered, his voice breaking into a ragged sound.

Eddie sighed, his own frustration turning a little toward sympathy. “She told me she doesn’t want you here. You need to leave.”

Christian hands came forward, and he lunged toward Eddie, reaching out to grab at his shirt front. Eddie deflected his grip with the flashlight, knocking both arms away with a sweeping blow. “Whoa!” he growled. “Don’t touch me.” He was angry all over again; he’d been caught by surprise, and he didn’t like being surprised like this. Not in the dark, in the middle of the night, by a desperate man.

But Christian didn’t seem to notice Eddie’s anger, and even though he let his hands fall to his sides, he leaned forward, his eyes large and bright in the glow cast by the moon overhead. “She talked to you about me? What did she say?”

“Hey! Get it together.” The guy was losing it. “She didn’t talk about you. She only said she didn’t want you here. She asked me to escort you off the property if you showed up here again.”

The younger man’s shoulders dropped, his gaze fell; everything about him seemed to deflate before Eddie’s eyes. Finally, he lifted his head and peered intently at Willow’s place again, until Eddie prodded him with a clipped command. “Come on. Time to move along.”

Together, they strode in silence past Shelly’s place, across the bridge, alongside Eddie’s trailer, then out toward the street. Eddie waited at the entrance of the drive while Christian walked the few hundred feet to the Dodge Ram parked on the side of the road, and got in. He stayed his post until the truck disappeared into the night, then turned and headed back home, his shoulders drooping under the weight of what had just taken place.

How in tarnation did he handle this? Should he tell Willow about his conversation with the man who claimed to be her husband? Keep it to himself? What if the guy was stupid—or desperate—enough to come back?

“I don’t need this,” Eddie muttered, glancing heavenward. Not that he was talking to God. He didn’t talk to God, because God didn’t talk to him. He’d tried, back when he’d first been diagnosed, but when he didn’t get any answers, Eddie came to the conclusion that saving his sorry backside was the best he was going to get out of the Big Man upstairs. That was fine by him. Eddie figured he hadn’t done much of anything for God during the forty-plus years he’d been alive, so why should God do anything for Eddie?

Back on his sofa, he flipped on the television again, hoping to shut his head down for the night, but there was nothing on this late, at least nothing he wanted to see. He might as well go to bed; he’d deal with the Goodhope situation in the morning.

But his sleep was restless, and he dreamed about Willow, running through the trees in the dark, barefoot, her wild hair flying out behind her, her features haunted by whatever pursued her. Moving covertly through the shadows, ever so slowly, but still keeping up with the terrified girl, was a man, or a monster, he couldn’t quite tell. Eddie kept trying to call out to Willow, to tell her to run to him, that he’d protect her, but every time he opened his mouth, only a raspy whisper came out, not even loud enough to be heard above the rustle of the wind in the branches overhead. Frustrated, he began to run. Maybe he could catch up with her before the Shadowman did. So close, he reached out and grabbed at the flapping material of her coat, and she turned, her hair whipping him in the face, blinding him for just a moment. When he opened his eyes, it was no longer Willow’s lapel he was holding, but his father’s, a hollowed-out look in his teary eyes, an empty bottle in his hands.

Eddie woke with a start, his eyes popping open, his heart pounding like a bass drum in his chest. The morning had already made an appearance, and in the early light, he gazed at the pocked foam ceiling above him while he waited for his pulse to slow.

Sitting up on the edge of his bed, he propped his elbows on his knees and cupped his forehead in the palms of his two hands. It was shaping up to be a long day.

By the time he made it over to his mom’s trailer for breakfast, Donny was awake and in rare form. “I’m heading over to talk to Sheena,” he said in response to Eddie’s question. “And if she won’t lighten up, I’m done with her.”

“Oh Donny, you be gentle with that girl. She’s like a daughter to me, you know.” Edith carried an iron skillet from the stove top over to the table and set it down on a trivet beside Eddie’s plate. “There you go. Eat up.” She turned back to her younger son, who was combing his hair in front of the mirror hanging on the wall next to the front door. “You look very handsome, Donny. She won’t be able to resist you.”

Donny winked at his mother. “That’s the plan.” Eddie rolled his eyes, but said nothing. At least if he was going back to Sheena, Willow would be safe for a while.

“So Eddie. Tell me about the new girl in Space Twelve. I hear she’s a hot piece of—”

“Shut it!” Eddie ground the words out, much louder than he’d planned. “Stay away from her, Donny. She’s off limits.”

“Oh-ho-ho!” Donny crossed the room and leaned against the counter, grabbing a freshly-washed mug from the dish drainer and filling it with coffee. “Off limits? What does that mean? Are you staking your claim, Big Brother?”

“Boys, stop it.” Edith reached into the refrigerator for a carton of half-and-half, and handed it to Donny. “The sugar’s on the counter behind you, honey.” Turning to Eddie, who suddenly wasn’t so hungry, she chastised him. “Your brother’s just curious, Eddie. We all are. So tell us what you know about her. What’s her name again?”

Eddie sighed and closed his eyes, trying to remember why he’d thought coming here today, in his sleep-deprived state, was a good idea. “Mrs. Goodhope. She’s married. Stay away from her.”

“What? She’s married?” Edith leaned against the counter beside Donny, sipping on her own cup of coffee. “So why is she living here alone? Don’t try to tell me she’s got a man over there. We all know she’s on her own.”

Donny wore a mocking grin, reminding Eddie of the Cheshire cat from Wonderland. “I kinda like married women. No commitment required.”

“Donny!” Edith smacked his arm with the back of her hand. “Stop joking like that.”

Eddie knew better; Donny was serious. “Stay away from her, Donny.” He said it again, his voice low, as he shoved a huge bite of egg in his mouth and chewed, wanting nothing more than to punch his kid brother in the teeth.

“Maybe you should take your own advice, Eddie-boy. Sounds like you might be scoping things out for yourself.” Donny shoved off from the counter, gulped the rest of the creamy, sweet drink he’d made, and left the mug unrinsed in the sink. “I think I may just need to pay Mrs. Goodhope a visit. Warn her about how you get a kick out of preying on other men’s women.”

Eddie was on his feet, his fists up, before he really thought about what he was doing. “Stay away from her,” her growled, closing the distance between him and his brother in three steps.

“Eddie! Stop!” Edith shrieked, throwing herself in front of Donny, who smirked at him over the top his mother’s head. Eddie turned and stormed out of the trailer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wheelbarrow

What a fool he was, stirring Donny’s curiosity like that. Why hadn’t he just kept his mouth shut and let him run off to win Sheena back? Now, not only did he have to deal with the creepy Shadowman, but he had his kid brother to worry about, too.

And when had he started calling Willow’s husband-ex-husband-or-something-like-it by his evil villain name, Shadowman? Eddie threw his cap on the sofa and clomped into the kitchen, his empty stomach mocking him.

“And I don’t prey on women, taken or otherwise,” he muttered. But the thought, like Willow’s words the day before, stuck in his craw, too. He’d known Leanne maybe a year before they started seeing each other, and she’d been in a serious relationship with a guy named Craig when they met. Before long, she was stopping by his place to hang out, talking about how sweet he was, how calm and gentlemanly, what a big guy he was. My gentle giant, she called him. He and Donny were opposites in every way, including the looks department. Eddie was built like a bear, solid, barrel-chested, and thick-limbed, while Donny pranced around like a gymnast, flashing his baby blues at anything in skirts. But Eddie had to admit that it did something for his ego when women drifted his way, especially when they drifted away from the likes of Donny, like Sheena had. In fact, Leanne had done the same thing, having left her man just weeks before Eddie asked her out, offering to comfort her in his beefy embrace. She’d never really been his, not in the way a man and woman should belong together. He’d been her strong tower, her place of refuge, but once the storm of her broken heart had passed, she was ready to move on.

And now here he was, prepared to step in and protect Willow Goodhope from the man claiming to be her husband, a man who obviously still cared for her, and from Donny, should the need arise.

He pulled out one of the two chairs at his dinette set and dropped heavily into it. What a fool. What a fool he was.

“So why?” He spoke the words aloud. “Why do I fall for unavailable women?” He wasn’t going to admit to intentionally stealing them. He never set out to do so, anyway.

All day long, the question plagued him, and until he could get it straight in his head, he didn’t dare go near Willow Goodhope. The smile, the tears, the sheer proximity of that girl would do him in today, in his weakened condition.

He attacked an ancient eucalyptus tree at the back of the property, one that had blown over in the January winds. He’d been meaning to take a chainsaw to it for some time now, having waited long enough for some of the oily liquid in its branches to dry up. It was the perfect outlet for his frustrations, and by the time he’d finished clearing the area, he had a pile of chopped and neatly stacked eucalyptus logs he could sell for firewood and make a mint off of, and a few revelations about himself he’d come to grips with.

Filling an old metal wheelbarrow with some of the smaller, more manageable logs, he rolled it across the drive and down the way toward Willow’s place. She was just returning from the mailbox with a stack of letters in her hands, and her face lit up at the site of him wheeling up at the edge of her patio. He imagined Al strategically positioned on his couch so he could keep the line of mailboxes in view, and held back a chuckle.

“Hi, Eddie! Whatcha got there?”

He nodded in greeting, then tipped his head toward the logs. “I’ve been clearing a fallen tree and thought you might want some of the logs for your fire pit. This stuff burns hot, but it smells good, if you like eucalyptus. You’ll just need to let it season until the fall, otherwise it’ll smoke you out.”

“How thoughtful of you!” She came right up to him, picked up one of the logs, and brought it to her nose. “I do love the smell of this stuff, Eddie. Thank you.” She smiled up at him, and over the top of the pungent odor of the sap on his hands, he could smell something else, that lingering woodsy scent that seemed to drift around Willow.

“Where do you want me to put it?” His tone was suddenly gruff, but she didn’t seem to notice.

She showed him where she already had a pile of fruitwood stacked at the back of the patio, but when she tried to help him, he shooed her off. “I got this.” She stepped back, and watched him work, chewing on her bottom lip. Eddie berated himself for noticing—he found himself taking note of her funny little habits and quirks. “So, I need to talk to you. About your….”

“The Shadowman?” she offered, when his words faded away. “I hear he’s been named.”

“Yes.” In fact, it was easier to think of him that way than it was to think of him as married–or something like it–to Willow. “He showed up here again last night.”

“Oh, dear. Oh no.” Willow crossed to one of the plastic chairs in front of the fire pit and dropped into it. The gurgling of the little stream that ran alongside her patio drowned out her quiet words, but Eddie had no trouble understanding the look on her face.

He finished stacking the wood, then indicated another chair nearby. “Mind if I sit?”

“No, please. Sit.”

“He said he was your husband. Actually, he said you were his wife.” He took a deep breath and held it, waiting for her to deny it. When she didn’t, he let it out in a long slow huff, and continued. “He said he just needed to know that you were okay. I assured him you were, and sent him on his way. He knows he’s not welcome here anymore.” He tried to keep his words gentle, but he had to speak a little loudly to be heard above the sound of the water, and he wasn’t sure how his tone would come off.

Eddie turned to look down the driveway to where he’d confronted Christian Goodhope the night before. Movement at Kathy’s window caught his eye, and he thought he saw the silhouettes of two people. Myra must be visiting Kathy; he could just imagine what kind of gossip was going on behind those curtains. When he looked back at Willow, her eyes glistened, but stayed dry, her hands still and laid flat over the letters stacked on her knees.

“Thank you, Eddie. I’m sure he’ll stay away now. I hope you’re not… not worried about me being here.” Her eyes scanned the little house and patio around them, finally landing on the elderberry tree growing all crooked and lush beside the stream, clusters of tiny white flowers covering its branches. “I don’t want to leave here. Not yet.”

Eddie shook his head. “Nah. You’re fine. I’m not worried.” He waited, hoping she’d expound a little on her relationship with Christian Goodhope, but she was chewing on her lip again. “Okay. I’ll be off. You let me know if there’s anything else I can do for you.” He stood up quickly, nearly knocking over his chair.

Willow stood too, not paying any attention to his clumsiness. “Thank you, Eddie. For everything. You, and the others here at The Coach House,” she spread her arms wide. “You’re exactly what I need right now. I can’t imagine where I’d be if I didn’t have Elderberry Croft and my wonderful neighbors.” Her words were simple, heartfelt, and Eddie felt his chest swell. It was good to be needed, especially for the right reasons.

He would be here for her. He would watch out for her. He would protect her. And he would do so without trying to win her heart. It was too late for him; he’d already fallen a little in love with her. But then, he didn’t think he was the only one. She seemed to work her magic on everyone she met, weaving her way into their hearts, and stirring up feelings and emotions they’d all thought dormant. Well, he could handle the little thrill he got every time she smiled at him, because he was going to do right by her.

He took a deep breath, the corner of his mouth curving up into a smile as he caught the smell of wood chips. “I’m glad to hear it,” he said, “and we’re glad to have you here, too.” Then he turned to go, taking his wheelbarrow with him. One day, maybe he’d learn the truth about Willow Goodhope and the Shadowman, but for now, he was content with leaving things the way they were.

And one day, maybe, just maybe, someone would happen into his life who was free to love and be loved by him. Someone who would smile up at him without the shadow of anyone else lingering in her eyes. Someone who wouldn’t balk at the life-saving device hanging from the hole in his abdomen, who wasn’t afraid of death, but would face it by his side when—no, if—the time came a little early for him.

He walked down the driveway toward the other end of the park. He waved at the two women standing on Kathy’s front porch, made his way past the Davis’ trailer, past Joe’s place, then paused in front of Shelly’s driveway. He should let her know that all was well with the world, thanks to her.

He looked down at his grubby hands, his sweat-stained shirt, a little too small, stretched over his slightly-protruding stomach. The knees of his jeans were smudged from kneeling in the dirt and debris, and he’d forgotten his belt, so his pants kept slipping down.

Maybe he’d go shower up first, then return the empty muffin basket to her, along with his thanks. Nodding in agreement with himself, he headed across the bridge for home, his shoulders back, chin up. It was shaping up to be a fine day, after all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The End of Part 5: May Enchantment

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hope you enjoyed getting to know Eddie Banks, the manager of the Coach House Trailer Park, in Part 5: May Enchantment.

Do come again in June for Part 6: June Melody.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shadowman image and green wheelbarrow image courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net

“Pastors’ Wives” iPad Mini Giveaway and Facebook Party with @LisaCullen! {5/23}


In association with Litfuse Publicity, I’m pleased to be a participating host in the virtual book tour event for Pastors’ Wives, by author Lisa Takeuchi Cullen. For more reviews, please visit the Pastors’ Wives Blog Tour!

Lisa Takeuchi Cullen
Lisa Takeuchi Cullen was a longtime staff writer for TIME magazine. She now develops TV pilots for production companies and recently sold her first pilot for “The Ordained” to CBS. Born in Japan, Cullen lives in New Jersey with family.

Find out more about Lisa at
http://lisacullen.com
.

About Pastors’ Wives:
 Pastors' WivesWhat’s it like when the man you married is already married to God? asks Pastors’ Wives, an often surprising yet always emotionally true first novel set in a world most of us know only from the outside.

Lisa Takeuchi Cullen’s début novel Pastors’ Wives follows three women whose lives converge and intertwine at a Southern evangelical mega church. Ruthie follows her Wall Street husband from New York to Magnolia, a fictional suburb of Atlanta, when he hears a calling to serve at a mega church called Greenleaf. Reeling from the death of her mother, Ruthie suffers a crisis of faith—in God, in her marriage, and in herself. Candace is Greenleaf’s “First Lady,” a force of nature who’ll stop at nothing to protect her church and her superstar husband. Ginger, married to Candace’s son, struggles to play dutiful wife and mother while burying her calamitous past. All their roads collide in one chaotic event that exposes their true selves. Inspired by Cullen’s reporting as a staff writer for Time magazine, Pastors’ Wives is a dramatic portrayal of the private lives of pastors’ wives, caught between the demands of faith, marriage, duty, and love.

Purchase a copy: 
http://ow.ly/klK8c

MY REVIEW:

Pastor’s Wives is a “behind the scenes” slice of life of the Greenleaf mega church, in which three prominent pastors wives are represented.

I’m going to begin with the not-so-good stuff. The book started a little rocky for me, for a few reasons. From the very beginning, I had a hard time “buying” the story of the first wife to whom we were introduced, Ruthie, who was uncertain about everything, from her religion, to her faith (two very different things), to her husband’s calling, and in particular, about her own place in their future together. That this prominent mega church would hire on a new pastor without clarifying the faith/belief of the wife, was hard for me to accept.  The reason this felt disingenuous is because I know from personal experience (having been a church administrative assistant for years, and been intimately involved in hiring pastors in both large and small protestant churches), that it’s standard practice to interview BOTH husband and wife when hiring for pastoral positions. This practice is specifically in response to the biblical view of marriage in Genesis 2:24 & Ephesians 5:31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh,” and therefore, are in accordance with each other in the calling to ministry. The absence of her faith was something they even discussed in their marriage, so her husband, Jerry, was under no misunderstanding that she might have been equally yoked with him in his beliefs. Again, this would have been one of the first criteria for offering Jerry the pastoral position. Honestly, I kept waiting for this to be addressed, but it was only Ruthie who seemed to be concerned that it might be a problem.

Candace’s and Ginger’s stories were much more believable, but because I’d been set up to doubt the integrity of the church (based on the way they conducted the hiring process with Jerry and Ruthie), it took me a while to really care for and believe in the other characters.

I also had concerns regarding some of the watered-down theology presented and promoted in this novel, but I am decidedly conservative when it comes to interfaith relationships and compromise. Take that however you will.

NOTE: There was some language and a few scenarios not typically “acceptable” by CBA standards, but there was only once or twice when it seemed to me to be unnecessarily gratuitous, one being that Ginger and Pastor Timothy slept together the first night they met, and called it “love,” with no acknowledgement of their actions being in any way less than honorable.

That being said, here comes the good stuff. The more I read, the more intrigued I became by Candace, in particular. She certainly grew on me in a way that surprised me, something I believe Lisa intended – like peeling back the layers of an onion, only to be surprised to find a multifaceted jewel at the core. I loved how each woman’s discovery of who GOD is, became a discovery of who they were as individuals.

Even though this novel is about a church and the women who “run” behind the scenes, it was not an in-your-face introduction to God, but a much more subtle unwrapping of how He is uniquely embraced by unique individuals.

Lisa is a lovely word artist; she has a way of painting her characters that makes them come to life between the pages of this story. Although written from all three women’s points of view, it wasn’t distracting when Lisa moved from one head to the other. I appreciated the way she developed the characters, and in turn, how their development changed the relationship between the three women.

Disclaimer: I received a complimentary copy of Pastors’ Wives from Litfuse for the purpose of this review.

scroll dividerLisa Takeuchi Cullen is celebrating the release of her début novel, Pastors’ Wives, with an iPad Mini Giveaway and connecting with readers on Facebook on May 23rd.

Pastors-wives300
One winner will receive:

  • An iPad Mini
  • A $25 iTunes gift card

Enter today by clicking one of the icons below. But hurry, the giveaway ends on May 22nd. Winner will be announced at the “Pastors’ Wives” Author Chat Party on May 23rd. Connect with Lisa for an evening of book chat, trivia, laughter, and more! Lisa will also be giving away books and fun gift certificates throughout the evening.

So grab your copy of Pastors’ Wives and join Lisa on the evening of May 23rd for a chance to connect and make some new friends. (If you haven’t read the book, don’t let that stop you from coming!)

Don’t miss out on the fun; click on one of the above links and RSVP today. Tell your friends via FACEBOOK or TWITTER and increase your chances of winning.

Laughing in the Face of Death

Breast Cancer

Photo courtesy of Paul Falardeau

It’s that time again, folks. My biannual reminder to all of you to be faithful in doing your breast self-exams!

Here’s a link to the Breast Cancer Society Website for more information on everything you should know if you have breasts. That means every human being, folks.

Why is this so important to me? My mother is a multiple-time breast cancer survivor and I lost a very dear friend, Liz Jetton, to this killer. Let me share a little moment in our relationship with you.

Laughing in the Face of Death

“I don’t want to do this again. I just don’t think I can.” Liz sat nestled into the corner of her sofa, arms crossed over a cushion she held against her lopsided chest. “Last time, it was like some bizarre adventure I knew I had to go through, but I was absolutely certain that I’d make it. This time, it’s different.” She shook her head, then muttered, “It wasn’t supposed to come back.”

Two weeks ago, Liz’s doctor informed her that the cancer was back; this time, her liver was full of the same tumors that had invaded her breast three years ago. Her liver was malfunctioning, turning her skin and eyes yellow from the bilirubin spilling into her system, and her whole body itched incessantly. Ten days into a new round of chemotherapy and radiation treatments, Liz was suffering the side effects of the poison coursing through her already weakened body. Weak and exhausted, she had a distressing tendency to pass out with little or no warning. To compound her discomfort, her hair began falling out this morning.

“I don’t want to do this again. I don’t want to lose my hair. I don’t want to be so tired that I can’t even get out of bed, and I don’t want to feel like death warmed over.”

My heart wrenched painfully as I watched my tough, edgy friend start to unravel. “I’ve got my poor husband worried, too. I never cry, Becky, you know that, and I think I’ve cried more in these past two weeks than in our whole married life together!”

I felt helpless. “I’m so sorry, Liz. I wish there was something I could do.”

Liz rested her head on the back of the sofa and closed her eyes for several moments. Finally she sat forward with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “Actually, there is something.” She paused dramatically. “Will you pull my hair out?”

I laughed out loud. “Are you serious?”

“Yes! I am! Look!” She reached up, grabbed a fistful of her short blond curls, and tugged, none too gently. I covered my mouth in surprise at the clump of hair between her fingers. “See? It just comes right out. In fact, it falls right out. Last time, I decided to let it fall out naturally, but by the end of the second day, I was going crazy. I’d sit down to eat and find hair in every bite. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, my neck itching like crazy, with hair all over my pillow. Finally, I just buzzed if off, remember? I was so glad to get rid of it!” Grabbing another handful, she dropped it into a small wastebasket that was next to the couch and looked over at me again. “Are you going to help me, or not?”

I crossed the room and knelt on the floor in front of her. “Only if I get to buzz your head this time.”

I reached up and tentatively ran my fingers through her hair. It was soft, and thin, and to my dismay, it pulled loose between my fingers without any effort at all.

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“Nope.” she turned and smiled at me in an odd, bittersweet way that made my breath catch. Then she bent her head back over the basket as I methodically combed through her hair, pulling out handfuls at a time, until there were only a few stubborn patches left. “Okay. Let me see you, Liz.”

She looked like a little old man. There was a tuft of hair over each temple, another one above each ear, and I could see a few fine wisps at the back of her neck. I giggled. I tried not to, but then Liz did, too. In a few moments we were both laughing uncontrollably, releasing the pent-up, emotional burden of the last couple of weeks.

“Oh, Liz,” I said, when I finally caught my breath, “I feel like a teenager again, doing crazy things to your hair. Shall we make you into a punk rocker? Where are your permanent markers? I could tattoo your head…”

“Don’t you dare! It’s going to bad enough when the kids come home and see that I’m bald! And what would they say at church!” She giggled again, then became uncharacteristically serious, even for Liz. “Thank you. It’s nice to know that I can still laugh. I was beginning to wonder, you know.”

She went searching for the clippers, and when I heard laughter coming from the bathroom, I knew she’d seen her reflection. Her laugh was acceptance.

Moments later she returned, the buzzers in one hand and a large department store bag in the other. Plopping back down on the sofa again, she pulled several boxes out and set them on the cushion beside her. She opened one and lifted out a flattened blonde wig.

“I knew I should’ve gotten rid of these. Keeping them was just bad luck.” Liz smiled regretfully as she draped the hairpiece over a fist and began fluffing the curls with her other hand. She carefully propped it over the end of the armrest, squared her shoulders, and leaned her head out over the wastebasket again. “Okay. Buzz away.”

The frivolity of the moment had passed, and we were both serious once more. The noise of the electric clippers seemed obnoxious and loud, so I hurried to finish my task.

“All done,” I said, turning off the machine and brushing the last bits of hair from the nape of her neck. “Now you look like a real cancer patient.” I was half-joking, half-serious, but it was true. We had officially entered the next stage of the battle against her cancer. I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, and I had to look away.

“Becky, you are not allowed to cry. Not right now. You have to be strong for me. You have to make me laugh. Don’t turn away from me. Don’t stop talking to me. Don’t give up on me.” Her quiet appeal spoke volumes, and I met her gaze once more. Her eyes, too, were bright, glistening with unshed tears, and I leaned over and hugged her hard.

“I love you, my friend, so don’t you dare think I’m giving up on you! You’re stuck with me,” I declared vehemently. “Besides, who said I was crying? I just got one or your hairs in my eye, that’s all.”

“A hair, huh?” Liz patted my cheek, then took a deep breath. “Well, I for one am glad that’s dealt with. How about some lunch?” As we bowed our heads—mine with my long, black mane, hers pale and vulnerable without its covering—over sandwiches, we thanked the Lord for His provision, and for the gift of friendship, of shared hope, of faith and love. We thanked Him for His promise to walk with us through the good times and the hard times.

Laughing in the Face of Death

Liz’s body succumbed to cancer ten years ago last March. She left behind her beloved husband and young son, and a legacy of courage and laughter, even in the face of death… because Liz knew that death was more than just another adventure. Death was the door to a wholly healed life with Christ. I miss her still, but when I think of her, I cherish memories like these; bittersweet moments when she wouldn’t let me turn away from what was coming, when she helped me to embrace her fully, by laughing in the face of death with her.

Today’s post is also a prayer for those of you in my life who are hurting: “…rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer…” Romans 12:12

Prayer: Patience in Action

 

Prayer of Jochabed

Have you been given a promise by the Lord, only to have it taken from you? Are you begging God for the life of a loved one; a husband, a child, a friend? Are you waiting, and waiting, and waiting some more, for answers that never seem to come? Your most powerful weapon is prayer. Use it. Don’t give up. And be grateful for the answers that He does give you. Keep your eyes and ears open so that you won’t miss the works of His hands, the sound of His voice. Then wait on the Lord. He will give you enough for one more day, one more step, one more breath. This He has promised.

May I pray this prayer from Hebrews 12:11-13 for you?

Lord Jesus, we know that all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness. Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble, and make straight paths for your feet, so that the limb which is lame may not be put out of joint, but rather be healed.

These things we ask in YOUR NAME, Jesus. Amen

Build My Platform on… LOVE?

Today, I’m over at Splickety Magazine, talking about building a platform.

As  a writer, I’m constantly working on my “platform” – my public appearance, my saleability, my ability to influence others to want to be in my “tribe.”

But God often directs us in a different way….

Come visit me at Splickety, and check out what it means to me to “LOVE LIKE THAT.”

Have a blessed WEEKEND!

In Respectful Silence…

I can’t seem to find any words of my own… and maybe that’s best.

“Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans.” Romans 8:26 (The Message)

Boston
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

Elderberry Croft: Five Fabulous Reviews!

Elderberry Croft: Volume 1

From Barnes and Noble:

Wonderful story! I started and finished this book today and I’m in love with a new series! I love finding a book that tells a great story and this story pulled me in from the very beginning! Now I’ll try to patiently wait for volume 2.

From Amazon:

Elderberry Croft is the sort of book that leaves you hanging on each word. The characters are so well-developed, you feel like you know them. And the enigmatic, yet constantly encouraging Willow Goodhope would make a great best friend! Looking forward to the upcoming volumes in this series, though I’ll hate to see it end.

From Smashwords:

I purchased this book during Smashwords’ Read an Ebook Week and I am glad I did. Although disappointed at the end, I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I found the story itself captivating and I really do want to know what happens next in the lives of these people – and, of course, what’s really bugging Willow Goodhope. And that’s where the disappointment comes in. Like most people, I want closure to this tale, but I am content to wait.

Ms. Doughty is a wonderful storyteller, if a bit overmuch on the religious side, and has woven a compelling story with quite believable characters with whom I can easily identify. We’ve all known people like these, which makes Doughty’s book all the more worth the read.

I recommend this book to anyone who likes an intelligently written and compelling book.

From HERE:

This person went out of their way to come here to Braveheart. This was the comment:

I took a brief look at your book and wanted to leave a comment, but *** has rules about that. Here’s what I wanted to say:

“Not the story for my tastes–but Doughty knows how to write, and I’d bet lovers of good romance novels would go for this one.”

Not a big-time review, I realize, but I wish you luck with the Elderberry.

I felt like this was an awesome review because the reader appreciated my writing, even though it didn’t suit their personal tastes.

And one more, just because…

In my opinion, one of the signs of a talented writer is the ability to make secondary characters come as fully to life as their main characters. Thank you for a wonderful, heart-gripping read!

Wow. THANK YOU!

Elderberry Croft

Do you know that Elderberry Croft: Volume One is FREE on Barnes and Noble? And on Smashwords, where you can download it to any e-book reader, including your Kindle, your iPad, and more? And it’s free here on Braveheart too!

Download a copy, or click on the Elderberry Croft tab above, and enjoy a relaxing read, instead of being “taxed” this weekend!

Elderberry Croft Home

The residents of The Coach House Trailer Park are just as run-down as the park itself. In fact, they’ve all come here to die. Then one day, on a crisp January breeze, Willow Goodhope sweeps into the neighborhood. She moves into the lonely little shack on the other side of the driveway, bringing her potted plants, her Elderberry gifts, and her outrageous laughter. The Coach House residents can’t resist her charm as she breathes new life into hardened hearts, but there’s something about Willow, a terrible sadness that hovers at the back of her enigmatic eyes, and it has everyone talking, wondering, worrying. Kathy overhears her sobbing in her kitchen. Doc catches her burning letters in her fire pit. Myra swears she drinks alone out on her patio in the middle of the night. Patti knows the beautiful girl is after her husband, and Eddie and Donny, forever-feuding brothers, are competing to see who can make her smile first, even though they’re both fairly sure she’d prefer her men with real jobs, real homes, and real teeth. What–or who–is haunting the mysterious Willow Goodhope of Elderberry Croft? Will her new “family” be able to rescue her before it’s too late?

Elderberry Croft: Part 4

April Shadows

Elderberry Croft Home

Welcome to Elderberry Croft

A Serial Book Written in Twelve Monthly Episodes

The residents of The Coach House Trailer Park are just as run-down as the park itself. In fact, they’ve all come here to die. Then one day, on a crisp January breeze, Willow Goodhope sweeps into the neighborhood. She moves into the lonely little shack on the other side of the driveway, bringing her potted plants, her Elderberry gifts, and her outrageous laughter. The Coach House residents can’t resist her charm as she breathes new life into hardened hearts, but there’s something about Willow, a terrible sadness that hovers at the back of her enigmatic eyes, and it has everyone talking, wondering, worrying. Kathy overhears her sobbing in her kitchen. Doc catches her burning letters in her fire pit. Myra swears she drinks alone out on her patio in the middle of the night. Patti knows the beautiful girl is after her husband, and Eddie and Donny, forever-feuding brothers, are competing to see who can make her smile first, even though they’re both fairly sure she’d prefer her men with real jobs, real homes, and real teeth. What–or who–is haunting the mysterious Willow Goodhope of Elderberry Croft? Will her new “family” be able to rescue her before it’s too late?

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Part 1: January Breeze

Part 2: February Embers

Part 3: March Whispers

Part 4: April Shadows

April Shadows

© Npologuy | Stock Free Images

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Chapter 1

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“There he is again, Mr. Tibbles.” Shelly released the vertical blind slowly so it wouldn’t set the whole plastic curtain to moving. The cat in her arms was too busy playing dead to care what was going on outside in the dark. She carried him over to her desk chair, settled him into the spot she’d recently vacated, then returned to the small sliding door at her back entrance.

She’d opted for the wide clackity blinds because if the cats played with them, they didn’t shred, and they were easy to wipe clean. Digits, especially, loved to rub her arched back down the length of them, making the row of strips swish back and forth, batting at them to keep them moving. She knew it wasn’t likely that the man outside could hear the blinds rattling together, but the movement, even with all her lights off, might catch his eye if he happened to look her way.

Mr. Tibbles wasn’t happy about losing the warmth of her body. He leapt off the chair, and wandered off in search of a bite to eat or a catnip mouse to bat around.

She’d first noticed the man a few weeks ago. Although it wasn’t common to see strangers in The Coach House Trailer Park, she rarely paid attention to the few that did come through. People were allowed to have guests, after all. But this one never seemed to visit anyone, at least not that she could tell. He always slipped in on foot, walking slowly, almost furtively, it seemed, and usually well after dark.

The gravel drive that looped through the park was essentially a giant horseshoe back here. After crossing the bridge over the little stream that divided the property front to back, the drive passed by her place where it sat at the west end of the park, then turned left and ran alongside spaces 9, 10, and 11, before turning left again and crossing back over the second bridge at the other end of the property. Space 12, the new girl’s place, was just opposite Space 11, at the farthest east corner, just beyond the laundry shed.

He always came from Shelly’s end of the park, walking past her trailer, his feet crunching softly on the gravel. Didn’t he know that the sound of footsteps on the drive in the middle of the night echoed loudly off the bank of hills behind the property? Back here there was very little noise from the busy street out front, and once the sun set, things got pretty quiet. Next door, Joe’s light usually went out about 9, the trailer on the other side of him, around the same time. Kathy in Space 11 kept a wacky schedule, but from what she could tell, it wasn’t for the sake of entertaining. If there was activity at Space 11, it was just Kathy rearranging her heart-shaped rocks in her heart-shaped yard.

That woman must have hundreds of those rocks. Because Shelly only did her laundry once a month, and then, only at night, she rarely passed by Kathy’s house. But every once in a while, the stocky, energetic woman would be out in her yard, the floodlight on, carting piles of rocks around in an old metal wheelbarrow.

At first, Shelly thought she was a druggie. She’d transcribed enough patient charts to know the signs and symptoms. But Kathy, with wide-eyed clarity that defied the typical paranoia of drug abuse, claimed she simply suffered from bouts of insomnia. “A parting gift from my heavy-handed husband,” she declared. “He made sleeping one of the most terrifying activities of my night.” It was the only time they’d spoken, and it had been very uncomfortable for her. She’d felt the pressure to explain her own nocturnal lifestyle, but it wasn’t anyone’s business but her own. It didn’t help that all three of Kathy’s dogs were barking as though they’d like nothing better than to jump the fence and chew on her legs.

She didn’t understand why people liked dogs. They terrified her. They were deceptive and manipulative, with those big, sad eyes and soft, furry bodies. Then they’d open their mouths and the fangs, the drool…Shelly knew all about dog bites from the patient files, too.

She usually waited until all the lights were out along the drive before she turned on any of her own. Her cats liked to sleep during the day and play all night, so she adjusted to their schedule because she could. Her work didn’t require set hours, just a finished product, and she could transcribe in the middle of the night just as easily as she could in the light of day. She didn’t sleep well at night, anyway, so it seemed to like a good solution to her. Sure, it meant she spent the majority of her waking hours alone, but she had Mr. Tibbles and his harem, so she was never lonely. Besides, and the things she learned from the little voices that droned in her ears for hours at a time were really rather fascinating. Who needed television when her job provided her with so much entertainment and education?

She’d just turned on her computer and opened up the first file when she heard his faint footsteps. The Shadow Man, she had started calling him. She knew it had to be him; it was nearly midnight, and the whole place had been asleep for hours.

She lost sight of him around Kathy’s place, but she got the impression he never went much further. It wouldn’t make sense. Otherwise, he would have just come in from that end of the park, and he always came back out this way.

It must have something to do with that new girl in the cottage by the laundry shed. “It’s none of my business, Mr. Tibbles,” she murmured, more to herself than to the cat who was no longer in the room with her. She turned away from the door and the shadowy figure of the man; whatever he wanted with the cottage lady had nothing to do with her.

Shelly returned to her desk, wiggled the mouse to wake up her computer, and pulled the pile of folders toward her. She had several reports to transcribe before morning, and the rule was that she had to finish one before the kettle whistled, another while her chamomile tea brewed, then a third before she was allowed to eat her breakfast of three scoops of corn flakes and toast with peanut butter.

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Chapter 2

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April Shadows Digits

© Jdhondt | Stock Free Images

By six o’clock the next morning, just as the first hint of light was beginning to seep into the sky, Shelly was finished. She checked and double-checked the printed copies of her transcription, making certain they were in alphabetical order by physician. She checked one, two, three times, that the flash drive was the correct one, tucked it into its case inside the plastic expandable folder with everything else. Then she stood, stretched, and sat back down. Pulling the flash drive from its case, she plugged it back into the computer, and checked it one, two, three more times. Satisfied, it went back in its case, back in the plastic folder. She went through the process one more time, making absolutely certain that there would be no mistakes, no error she’d have to explain, and no mishaps she’d have to recompense for.

Then she went through the process of strapping on the elastic band. It couldn’t be too tight—she didn’t want to leave even the faintest crease in the pile of papers—and it couldn’t be too loose or the zippered case with the flash drive might slip out. It must lay flat all the way around the case, not stretched too thinly in any one spot.

“Keep it even, Steven. Keep it straight, Nate. Keep it flat, Matt.” Three times she said this, three times she smoothed the band in place, three times she took it off again, testing its elasticity to make sure it wouldn’t snap. Three times she slipped it back in place.

“Three time’s a charm, right Mr. Tibbles?”

But it wasn’t Mr. Tibbles who was rubbing against her leg. “Hello, Molly Mia. How are you this morning?” Any other time, Shelly would have reached down and scooped up the long-haired cat into her arms, but today, she didn’t want the strands of white clinging to her clothes. The turtleneck she wore was one of her favorites, with a pattern of tiny blue flowers over a pale mint background, and her ankle-length, dark blue, denim skirt would need a quick rub with the lint-roller to rid it of Mr. Tibbles’ short black hairs already. Today was her delivery day, and she had to make sure she looked her best.

She still had nearly an hour to fill before the records department at the hospital was open, but she’d head out early as she did every week, and do her grocery shopping. It took her exactly thirty-three minutes to find everything on her shopping list, and it all fit into her three reusable bags. Then she’d sit in the parking lot at the hospital until 7 o’clock on the button, greet Mrs. Olson at information desk, and make her way, head down, to the section of offices where she exchanged her pile of reports for another flash drive. The whole ordeal took her less than fifteen minutes if everything was in order, but she gave herself thirty, just in case. She was always home by eight o’clock, with plenty of time to put away her groceries, feed the cats, and take a shower to wash away the germs she’d been exposed to in the hospital, before it was time for bed. By nine-thirty, she was in bed, by ten, asleep.

In the little kitchen, she pulled open the pantry to make sure she didn’t need to add anything to her shopping list. She looked sideways at her shelves, dreading the thought of having to rearrange her shopping trip around what she did or didn’t find there. “Be prepared, or be scared,” she murmured in a low voice. At least three of everything, just in case.

She sighed with relief when she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary and stepped back to close the door of the tiny room, doing a small jig to avoid the cat curling its body around her ankles. “Digits! Stop it, little girl! How am I supposed to walk with you under my feet?”

A few minutes later, she stood at her front door, taking one, two, three deep breaths to calm her nerves. She could do this. She did it every Friday. She’d be gone for two hours at the very most. “I’ll be right back, Mr. Tibbles. I promise.”

She made it to her car without panicking, and was just loading her things into the passenger side, when a voice behind her startled her, and she fought the urge to turn and run back inside, back to her sanctuary.

“Shelly? Good morning.”

She turned slowly, breathing deeply again, in and out three times, her fingers clenched into fists at her side. She didn’t speak; she didn’t know what to say. This was not part of her routine.

“Hi. I’m Willow. I live at the other end of the driveway.” Over a black turtleneck, she wore a funny little red sweater shrug thing that should have clashed with her coppery chestnut hair, but it didn’t. Her well-worn blue jeans and furry boots completed the ensemble, and Shelly blinked slowly—one, two, three times—knowing she could never get away with wearing something so intentionally unconventional. The woman toyed with a huge stone pendant on a long necklace, and she could hear the whir-whir as the silver eyelet rubbed back and forth over the links of the chain. “I was hoping to catch you this morning so we could meet.”

“How did you know?” Shelly slid into the space between the passenger seat and the open door, pulling it a little closer until the bottom bumped against her shin, sending a jolt of pain up her leg.

“How did I know what?” Willow’s confusion was obvious.

“How did you know I’d be out here today?” She didn’t mean to sound rude, but she couldn’t stop the tremor in her voice and the only way to mask it was with briskness.

“Oh!” Willow laughed, too loudly, like a low-class fishwife, and Shelly cringed. “I told Joe next door that I really wanted to meet you, but you never seem to be home. He explained to me that you sleep days and told me to leave you alone. So I bribed him for information with my elderberry apple pie.” She rubbed her palms together and winked. “I have my ways of making a man talk.”

Shelly blinked again, three times. “Well, I’m on my way to work. And Joe should mind his own business.”

“Please don’t be angry at Joe!” Willow stepped forward and put out a hand, resting it on the trunk of the car. “He didn’t gossip about you at all. He just said that if I was going to insist on being a nosy neighbor, this might be the only chance I have to catch you.”

“I guess Joe knows what he’s talking about, doesn’t he?” She couldn’t take the bite out of her words, even when she tried. “Um, it was nice to meet you, but I don’t want to be late, so if you’ll excuse me?” She was still crammed into the car door.

“Goodness! No, I don’t want to make you late.” Willow stepped back, bringing her arms across her stomach, like a loose hug. She thought it looked like she was comforting herself, and she felt guilt forming a band around her throat. “I won’t keep you any longer, but when will you be back? Would you like to come by for some coffee?” There was a forced brightness in Willow’s words; she was making such an effort.

“I’m usually back by nine.” She fudged a little, then held up a hand when Willow’s eyes widened with delight. “But I come home and go right to bed. I work nights.”

“Oh!” There was that chaotic laugh again. “Well, then I probably shouldn’t offer you coffee. Would you like to come over for decaf tea? I make a mean herbal tea. In fact, I have one that’s really good for sleep. It’s a nice chamomile and elderflower blend.”

This woman was determined. “I can’t. I’m going shopping, too, and I’ll have a car full of groceries to put away. And my cats will need to eat. I just can’t. I’m sorry.”

Willow shook her head, her red curls bouncing around on her shoulders like fat slinky toys. “Don’t apologize, Shelly. I’m the one who butted into your morning.” She chewed on her lip, and in a resolute voice, she said, “We’ll connect another time, okay?” Then she smiled kindly, stepped around the back of the car, and headed down the drive toward her own place, turning once to lift a hand in a wave.

Shelly breathed in deeply through her nose, catching a whiff of whatever fragrance Willow had been wearing that lingered behind her, and let out her breath in a whoosh, her whole body drooping as she sank into the passenger seat to recover. She hated being put on the spot, caught unprepared.

Father used to do it on purpose. He’d catch her unawares, often standing in the hallway waiting for her to come out of her bedroom or the bathroom, and ask her questions for which he knew she had the wrong answers. “Shelly.” His voice, no matter how smoothly her name flowed from his lips, always made her start violently, sending her heart surging up into the back of her throat, blocking her words and trapping her in helpless silence. “Did you help Mother with dinner tonight?”  She’d stare up at him, trying desperately to remember whether he liked the food or not. If she nodded, he’d slap her. If she shook her head, he’d slap her. It was never hard—at least it never left a lasting mark—but it always did what it was intended to do. It stung her flesh just enough to tear open her soul and leave her completely unsure of anything.

In the dark, after her father fell asleep, Mother would creep in and sit on the edge of her bed, knowing without asking, that her daughter was awake and dry-eyed, curled in on herself. Mother would stroke the knobby bones of her spine, following the c-shape of her back with her tentative fingers. “It’s for your own good, Shelly. You need to be prepared. Always be prepared. Life is hard, and no matter how careful you are, how good you are, how brave you are, things happen that we can’t control. We need to be prepared for bad things. They happen. And if you’re prepared for them, you won’t be caught by surprise.” Her touch never brought solace, but there was comfort in its tentative consistency. Father always knocked her off balance, Mother always put things back into perspective.

“Always be prepared, Shelly. Be prepared, or be scared.” She muttered the mantra under her breath as she dashed up the steps one more time to get her purse from the kitchen counter.

Digits was waiting for her, just like Father used to do, and Shelly was not prepared. Her toes caught the cat in the ribcage, making it yowl in surprise, and she reached frantically for the wall, the back of the kitchen chair, the counter, all just beyond her outstretched fingers.

Down, down, down she went, her left leg under her at an awkward angle, unable to find footing in her ill-fitting, slick-soled dress shoes.

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Chapter 3

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April Shadows Jasmine Green Tea

© Parisassoc | Stock Free Images

She lay crumpled on the floor, the nerve-endings in her body screaming at her, as pain coursed through her. Could she move? Had she broken something? What if her back was broken? She’d read about so many patients who might have walked again if they hadn’t been moved by desperate friends or family members at the scene of the injury. Did she dare try to move? What if she did and permanently damaged her spinal cord, leaving her paralyzed for life? Who would take care of Mr. Tibbles, and Molly Mia, and Digits, and Twinky-Dink?

The smallest of her cats padded over and rubbed her little body against Shelly’s hip, mewing softly. This little girl rarely came down from her window perch where she slept in a patch of sunlight during the day. At night, she was braver, wandering around the house, keeping to the shadowy corners and beneath furniture. She had only one eye, the other having been so damaged by a kick to the head, that the veterinarian had offered her no hope in salvaging it. “Steel-toed boots and cats don’t mix.” His words might seem callous to anyone else, but Shelly preferred his straightforward talk over those who used tricky phrases to soften the blow of the ugly truth. “I’d rather be prepared than scared,” she’d told him the first time she’d brought Dr. Otis one of her cats. He’d looked her in the eye and told her the truth without mincing words, just as he had time and time again since.

“Oh, little Twinky. It’s going to be okay.” She worried that Twinky-Dink would be able to sense her apprehension, and she didn’t want the cat to be afraid. The poor thing had lived enough of her life in fear already. Mr. Tibbles wandered over, walked around her a few times, then disappeared down the hall. Molly Mia was probably already asleep in the bedroom, and Digits was nowhere to be seen.

“Digits? Mommy’s going to be okay,” she called out, wondering if any of the cats would try to get out the front door she’d left standing open several feet away.

She lay there, futilely guarding the door with her eyes. Should she call for help? Would anyone hear her? Would anyone care? No one ever bothered with her except Joe next door, but she’d made sure he knew that theirs was not a friendship; they were just neighbors. And now this Willow girl. Well, she’d chased her off just as effectively as the steel-toed boot had chased off Twinky-Dink. She’d seen the wounded look in her eyes.

Making up her mind, she gathered her courage and strength, and brought her hands up under her, pushing her torso up slowly, slowly, so that she was leaning on her right hip. She whimpered a little as she tried to straighten her left leg; she reached down and pulled up the hem of her skirt to look at her knee. It was already beginning to swell.

“Well, at least I didn’t injure my spine,” she sniffed, realizing that the intense pain meant she wasn’t paralyzed. Using her right leg to push, she dragged her body backwards on her rear-end until she could reach the door, pushing it closed before collapsing against the wall beside it. “Oh, Twinky-Dink. This is not good. What am I going to do about work?” The cat had followed her across the floor and continued to rub against her thigh, her hip, nudging its head against her forearm.

“Oh no! My files! They’re in the car! What if someone breaks in and steals them? I’m going to be in so much trouble.” She reached up for the doorknob and pulled the door open again, just enough to be able to keep an eye on her car. “Not like it’s going to make a difference,” she muttered. “What am I going to do? Yell at them to stop?”

She leaned her head back against the wall and closed her eyes. She couldn’t believe the predicament she was in. Everything was so planned out. It always went so smoothly, like clockwork. What happened?

Willow Goodhope happened, that’s what. If she hadn’t showed up, startling Shelly half to death, putting her on the spot about being sociable, none of this would have happened.

“It’s not your fault, Digits,” she called out for the cat. “You can come out. It’s that Willow Goodhope’s fault. She did this to us.”

Twinky-Dink climbed onto her lap and curled up, having correctly surmised that she wasn’t planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Mr. Tibbles wandered through again, gave the little cat a daggered look, then kept going. Digits was still a no-show.

Fifteen minutes later, she was still sitting there, her knee throbbing too painfully for her to get up, although she’d tried a few times. But she knew she needed to get ice on it, she knew she needed to get up off the floor, and worse, she was beginning to feel like she needed to use the bathroom.

Footsteps on the gravel drive outside had her sitting up straighter, wincing as she twisted a little too quickly. She peered through the tiny crack in the door. She couldn’t see the driveway, but if the person approached her car or the front door, she’d know.

The footsteps slowed, stopped altogether, then picked up the pace again, until the person came into view. Willow Goodhope. What was she doing back here? She bent over and peeked into the car window, then turned  toward the front door. Shelly jerked back, catching her breath at the pain shooting down her leg, and pressed her teeth together over her lips to keep the gasp trapped inside her mouth.

“Shelly?” The woman’s voice sounded worried, but she wasn’t sure she wanted Willow’s help. Hadn’t she ‘helped’ her enough already this morning?

She was mounting the steps now. “Shelly? Are you in there?” The footsteps paused a few feet away and it suddenly occurred to Shelly how frightening the situation might seem to someone who stumbled upon it. She sighed through her nose, not wanting the red-haired busybody to do anything ridiculous, like call the police, and pulled open the door just enough to press one eye to it.

“Yes.”

“Are you… all right?” Willow didn’t come any closer, and seemed taken aback when she realized Shelly’s eye was at knee-level.

“Um… yes.” She couldn’t ask this girl to help her; she just couldn’t. “But could you do me a favor?”

“Of course. Anything.” She still kept her distance, the questions in her eyes turning to wariness. “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“Yes, I’m fine,” she snapped. “Could you just go next door and see if Joe is awake?”

“Absolutely.” Willow’s brows furrowed, as though she was reconsidering leaving Shelly alone, then she turned around and hurried down the steps, disappearing from sight. Shelly breathed in and out slowly, trying to calm her nerves, and get a better control over her pain.

It seemed forever before she heard voices coming around the end of the trailer; a deep, male voice, but not Joe’s, and it sounded like at least two women’s voices. What had that girl gone and done?

Into her view came a young man. He was tall and slender, his hooded gray sweatshirt unzipped halfway down his chest to reveal a tight white t-shirt underneath. He wore jeans that were shredded at the knees, and brown leather shoes that weren’t quite loafers. Over his shoulder he carried a sturdy cane. Behind him was Willow, followed closely by a woman she didn’t recognize.

“Shelly? I’m back. Joe wasn’t home, so I brought Ivan instead. And Patti.”

She wasn’t going to let them in.

The three of them made their way up the steps onto her porch, and before she had time to tell them to leave her alone, the fellow dropped into a crouch right in front of her. He smiled gently, his voice soothing. “I’m Ivan. I used to live here with my parents, but I don’t think we’ve ever met.” He inched closer, his voice dropping. “I need to know if you’re okay. Are you alone? Are you hurt?” He spoke so kindly, so tenderly, so differently than she’d ever been spoken to by a man before. Was it a trick? But when she looked at his face, his eyes, she was sure she could see right through him and into his heart. He really wanted to know how she was.

“I’m alone. I…I tripped and fell. I think I h—hur—” and then the tears started to come. “My knee,” she whispered, her voice breaking on its way out.

“May I come in?”

She glanced over his shoulder to see Willow and Patti standing back, giving her and Ivan space, and she felt guilty for her unkind thoughts toward the younger woman. Nodding, she nudged the door open, then leaned back against the wall again. Twinky-Dink leapt off her lap and disappeared down the hall.

Ivan stepped inside and Shelly felt her skin prickle with renewed anxiety. This was the first man besides Father who’d been inside her home. Ever. And it had been four years since he’d last stepped across the threshold, at least in real life. But Ivan continued to speak gently, carefully, as though dealing with a frightened child.

“Your knee, you said?” He gestured at her legs, but her skirt was pulled modestly down. “Would you prefer my mom to take a look? Or Willow?”

She swiped at her embarrassing tears with the back of her hand. “Okay.” It was just a whisper.

“I’m Patti,” the older woman said as she hurried forward, Willow right behind her. “I’m sorry we haven’t met before.” She reached over and took Shelly’s hand, holding it between her two cool, soft ones. “What happened?”

While she explained in clipped phrases about her fall, Willow bent over her, lifting the hem of her skirt just enough to expose her knee, a frown forming between her brows. There was that fragrance again—it actually reminded her of the chamomile tea she’d had this morning, but there was something sweet and exotic over the top of it. “How long ago did you fall, Shelly? Was it right after I left?”

She nodded.

“Okay. Can I have Ivan call an ambulance?”

“No!” She stiffened and sat forward, pushing everyone’s hands away. “No ambulance. I’ll be fine. I just landed hard. I don’t need a doctor.” Every time an ambulance came to her house, they took someone away and never brought them back. She knew it was foolish to blame it on the ambulance, but something in her did anyway. If she was going anywhere, it wouldn’t be in a shrieking, wailing, death van. Besides, she couldn’t afford health insurance, but she made just enough money, that she didn’t qualify for government help. She was one of those people who fell through the cracks of a broken system.

“Okay. It’s okay. How about if we just make you a little more comfortable. Your backside must be numb by now. Maybe a cushion? A pillow under your knee and some ice?”

Shelly stared at her knee, a little embarrassed over her outburst. It did look awful. Maybe if they could help her stand, she’d better be able to tell how bad it was. “I don’t want to stay on the floor.”

“No, of course you don’t, honey.” Patti beckoned Ivan closer. “Why don’t you let Ivan and Willow help you up? We can at least get you into a chair. Would you like that?”

It took several attempts to get her upright because of her pain, but with her arms around their shoulders, and her weight on her right leg, she gingerly bent her knee a little, then put some weight on her toe to see what she could bear. It hurt, that was for sure, and she wasn’t going to be able to do much more than rest it on the ground for a while, but it wasn’t quite as bad as she’d feared. Maybe just the shock of the fall had her too frightened to be objective.

Her rescuers helped her hobble to the table and sit, bringing another chair around for her to prop her leg on. Willow tucked a sofa cushion under her knee. She was so relieved to be off the floor, but how was she going to get around? She couldn’t put weight on her leg, not enough to walk on, anyway, and she certainly couldn’t hop around on one foot. How was she going to take care of her kitties?

As though reading her mind, Patti spoke. “Ivan, why don’t you run over and grab one of your dad’s walkers? The one with the wheels. He prefers the other one anyway, and I think the wheels will work better for Shelly.”

“Of course!” And the young man was out the door in a flash. Willow laid a hand on Patti’s shoulder.

“Patti, do you think you could make an ice pack while I run back to my place and get some supplies?” She turned to Shelly and explained. “I can make you a compress that will help with some of the bruising and swelling, if you’ll let me. Between that and the ice, you may be okay not going to the emergency room. Although I know we’d all feel better if you went. One of us could take—”

“No ambulance. No hospital. No emergency room. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be fine.”

By the time Willow returned with a basket in her arms, Ivan was back, too, and he and Patti were demonstrating how to use the walker while Shelly sat with a bag of ice wrapped in a towel against the side of her knee.

“I brought over my first aid book,” Willow said, holding up a bright yellow hard-back book. “It says the first thing you need to do is RICE. Rest. Ice. Compression. Elevation. So I think we’re on the right track.” She handed it to Shelly and reached back into her basket for a wide elastic wrap bandage. “I didn’t know if you’d have one of these or not, so I brought one from my handy-dandy first aid kit. I’m going to wrap your knee to compress it, okay?”

Over the next half an hour, the four of them worked together to get her as prepared as she could be to face the rest of the day. Ivan gallantly offered to take her files in for her and bring her back her new assignments. “I have to get going anyway. I just came by to have breakfast with Mom and Dad, but I need to get to work now. The hospital is on my way, so it will work out perfectly.” As soon as he’d left, Patti and Willow helped her get comfortable in bed, her leg propped on pillows, an icepack on either side of her knee.

“Jasmine.” The word came to her as if on a breeze, and drifted out between her lips.

“Pardon?” Patti asked.

Shelly was embarrassed, but explained anyway. “You smell like Jasmine tea, Willow. I’ve been trying to place it all morning.”

“Really? You think so?” Patti glanced over at Willow, then eyed Shelly curiously.

Willow’s eyes twinkled. “Do you like jasmine tea, Shelly?”

“I…I don’t really know. My mom used to have a special box of it in the pantry for when my grandmother visited. I wasn’t allowed to drink it, but I used to sneak in there just to smell that box.” She let herself remember; Grandma Turner and her funny, flappy arms, hugging her too tightly, and kissing the top of her head. “I think I might like it, actually. Maybe I’ll pick some up the next time I go shopping.” A small bird fluttered in the pit of her belly at the thought of straying from her routine, but the jasmine tea had to be close to the chamomile, right?

“Well, you worry about that when you’re up on your feet again.” Willow reached down and patted her hand where it rested on the arm of the sofa. “For now, sleep. We’ll be back to check on you this evening after you get up, okay? Then I’ll show you how to make a compress for your knee.”

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Chapter 4

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April Shadows Breakfast Shared

© Mjp | Stock Free Images

She’d been so tired after the excitement of the morning, that she was sure she’d fall to sleep as soon as the house quieted. But even with her drapes drawn and the room shrouded in shadows, the cats nestled around her, and the anti-inflammatory pills she’d taken, Shelly could not close her eyes without seeing the look on Willow’s face when she’d rejected her and all that she had offered earlier this morning. Would it be so bad to have a friend or two? Would it be so terrible to have someone who cared enough to stop in and say ‘hi’ every once in a while? To share a cup of tea together? To—

“Who am I kidding,” she muttered into the still air. “What do I have to offer someone like Willow Goodhope? Even her name is like a gift.” She draped an arm across her eyes. She hadn’t realized what lonely felt like until today. When Mother passed away, she’d been so overwhelmingly relieved, and she’d felt guilty, convincing herself that she didn’t need—or deserve—people in her life. The cats were companions enough. Until today. Until that Willow Goodhope showed up on her doorstep, wanting to meet her, wanting to have a relationship with her.

“Why, Mr. Tibbles? What’s so great about me that someone like her would want to be my friend?” She stroked the cat who lay curled into her side, and eyed the walker where it waited for her beside the bed, in case she needed to make a bathroom run in the middle of the day. “And why would Patti and Ivan want to help me?”

The cat had no answers, but purred loudly instead, a little motor vibrating against her ribcage. Shelly wondered if sleep would ever come.

When she awoke several hours later, her knee throbbed, and her hip ached from being propped in one position for so long. She needed more ice, she needed more ibuprofen, and she needed to use the bathroom. Maneuvering herself into position on the edge of the bed, she pushed up and grabbed onto the handle bars of the walker, moaning softly as gravity tugged at her knee. She made it to the bathroom without a mishap, finished in there, then headed to the kitchen for ice and a glass of water. By the time she’d taken her pills and reloaded her bag of ice, which she hung from around her wrist so she could keep both hands firmly gripping the walker, she didn’t think she could make it back to her bed. She ended up on the couch instead, and with miserable tears streaming down her face, she propped her leg up the best she could and sank back into the cushions. She’d wait there until help arrived.

They showed up at six o’clock sharp, armed with a beautiful twig basket filled with muffins, a pound of bacon, and a dozen eggs, and a little gift bag with her name on it. Inside the bag was a Japanese tea cup with a delicate little lid, a linen drawstring of loose-leaf jasmine green tea, and a tea ball. A Get Well card was signed from both the ladies, and from Ivan and Richard, too, and Shelly kept her head down, not sure how to react. She didn’t receive gifts; she didn’t know how to accept this gracefully.

“Thank you,” she muttered.

She had Willow feed the cats in the bedroom and close the door so they wouldn’t be underfoot during the meal. In the meantime, Patti helped her get comfortable in a chair at the table, handling her so attentively that Shelly commented on it. “Oh, this is what I do all day, honey. My husband, Richard, he’s home-bound. I take care of him.”

“My mother was home-bound. I took care of her.” She didn’t really mean to say it out loud, but she was tired from her lack of good sleep, and her guard was down. Willow made herself busy with breakfast preparations, but Shelly could tell she was listening.

“Well, then, you and I have a lot in common,” Patti stated. “You would be a good person to talk to when I have those days, if you know what I mean.” She winked at her. “Don’t tell me you never had any of those days.”

She closed her eyes and nodded slightly. “I had many of those days. Mother wasn’t an easy patient.”

“And Richie hasn’t always been an easy patient either. But, thanks to Ms. Goodhope here, he’s behaving a lot better, lately, right Willow?”

“I think it has a lot more to do with love than with me, Patti. He just finally realized the treasure he had in you.” Willow looked like she was blushing, but it could have been from the heat that was rising off the pan of bacon sizzling on the stove top.

“Regardless, I’d like to help you, Shelly.” Patti sat down opposite her and laced her fingers together on the table in front of her. “Would you let me, since you won’t go to the hospital?”

“Unless you’ve changed your mind and you want to go.” Willow chimed in, but she shook her head.

“I can’t go to the hospital, Willow. I just can’t.” She didn’t say it with any malice; it was just a statement of fact. “I understand that it must be hard to stand by and watch me refuse treatment, but it’s my decision, okay?”

“You’re right, and I’m not arguing with you.” Willow smiled warmly from the stove. “I’m the same way. I always try to treat things at home first. I grew up without hospitals and medical care, so I’m used to doing what I can naturally.”

“You should see the stuff she made for Richie, Shelly. It’s salve for his scars—he suffered pretty significant burns from a car accident he survived—and it works better than anything you could find over the counter.” Patti leaned forward and plucked a napkin from the holder in the middle of the table, giving her hands something to do. “Will you let me help you? Richie needs me so much less these days, and I’ve been hankering for something to do with myself.”

“I’m not a charity case.” This time her words did come out ugly, and she sounded just like Father to her own ears. How many times had she heard him say stuff like that?

“I know you’re not a charity case, Shelly, but I need to be needed,” Patti reassured her. “It’s my personality. Some might call it a weakness, but I think of it as my strength. God put it in my heart to be a helper. It’s what I do best. You need help and I can help you.”

“I’m sorry.” The words came crawling out of her mouth like a reluctant creature. When was the last time she’d apologized for her own behavior? And meant it? “I wish I knew how to be a better person. I’m used to cats.”

“Oh sweetie, don’t be silly. You’re in pain. No one is nice when they’re in pain.” Then she turned and eyed Willow. “Except for you, Willow. You’re always nice, but I know you’re in pain sometimes, too. Maybe not the sprained knee or busted back kind of pain, but heart pain can be just as debilitating. How do you manage to be so kind all the time?”

Shelly watched the two women from the corner of her eye, feeling somehow intrusive, as though she’d just stumbled into the middle of something she knew nothing about. Willow didn’t speak for a long time, but instead of filling the uncomfortable silence with words, Patti sat quietly and refolded her napkin.

“I try to focus on the pain that does heal, or at least the pain that lessens. It gives me something to do. In that, Patti, you and I are a lot alike.”

Shelly heard the dismissal in Willow’s voice. Would Patti take the hint?

“All pain lessens over time, honey.” Nope.

“Not all pain.” There was an edge in Willow’s voice that seemed incongruous with her soft eyes and gentle spirit. The silence that followed carried echoes of Willow’s suffering, and she felt her own shoulders hunch defensively.

“So, who would like some breakfast? I love breakfast for dinner, but this really is breakfast for breakfast for you, isn’t it Shelly?” Willow had scrambled eggs in the pan she’d fried the bacon in, and although she’d drained the bacon grease into a smaller container to cool, the eggs still were flecked with little bits of the meat that had been left behind. They looked delicious.

Not for the first time today, she was glad she still kept the trailer as spotless as it was back when Father was still alive. It was one of the few things she didn’t change. It helped keep her calm; having order and cleanliness around her. She changed the cat’s litter box daily, she washed their bowls between feeding, and she used odor-neutralizing room spray to mask any lingering smells. Her desk was always organized, with everything in its place, and she paid her bills the day she received them rather than waiting for any due date. Shelly liked order. She liked knowing what to expect. She liked to be prepared, even for when things didn’t go as expected, like today. Because she was prepared, she was able to tell Willow exactly where her pots and pans and dishes were without being worried about what she’d find inside her cupboards. Because she was prepared, she hadn’t been embarrassed to let the two women help her into bed this morning. Because she was prepared, even though no one besides her and the cats had set foot inside her trailer in nearly two years since Mother died, she could sit straight in her chair and not be ashamed.

“Thank you, Jesus, for your blessings. So, tell us about what you do for work.” Willow tied the two sentences together as though Jesus was sitting at the table with them. Shelly almost looked over at the empty chair, just in case.

“I’m a medical transcriber. I transcribe doctor’s notes into patient files.”

“Oooooh.” Willow drew the word out, low, almost a whistle. “Top secret stuff. Are you sworn to confidentiality? What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever come across?”

She could feel the smile forming at the corners of her mouth. “I don’t think you really want to know, especially not while we’re eating.”

“Oh dear me. No. Please don’t. I raised a son. When Ivan left home, I sent his gross dinner conversations with him.” Patti chuckled, and twirled her empty fork in Willow’s direction. “These eggs are wonderful! So light and fluffy and bacony.”

“Thank you. I use water, not milk.” She winked. “And that’s my top secret information for the day. Tell us something interesting, Shelly. It doesn’t have to be gross, just interesting. I mean, how long have you been doing this? There must be oodles of crazy stories in that brain of yours.”

She grinned self-consciously, and sipped her hot tea, a sense of peace washing over her. This was so pleasant, sharing her table with these two women. “I try not to remember, honestly. I’m always afraid I’m going to be in line at the checkout in the grocery store and the guy behind the counter will have a name tag that matches a patient file. What if that patient had some kind of weird ailment or parasite or something? How could I let him touch my food?”

“Hm. I can see your predicament.” Patti nodded sagely. “Best to forget, I think.”

“I do read some cute stuff about children, though. Things like peanuts in the nose or M&M’s in the ear. It’s always harder for me to forget their stories, especially the sad ones.” Suddenly it felt like all the things she hadn’t said over the years were scrambling at the back of her throat to get out, pushing against that band that always seemed so quick to tighten, to force her into silence. “I hate to hear some of the things adults do to children, and sometimes the things other children do to children are even more frightening. This bullying thing you hear all over the news? It’s almost as if the more we draw attention to it, the more we see it happen. At least, that’s what the charts seem to reflect.” She paused to sip some orange juice. The ibuprofen she’d taken was working better now that she had some food in her stomach. “I suppose it still could be parents who are abusing their kids and just telling the doctors it’s bullies.” That was just the kind of thing Father would do. He could be so adamant that it wasn’t his fingerprints on the inside of her upper arms, even she would half-believe him.

“I just don’t understand child abuse. I know not every child is planned, and I can even understand letting anger get the best of you.” Patti was folding and re-folding her napkin now, her eyes following the movements of her fingers. “There were times I wanted to beat the living tar out of Ivan, and the worst of it was when I was young and he was little. The older I got, the more control I maintained, but that was a case of maturity on my part, not because I wanted to hurt him any less.” She chuckled softly. “Believe me, when he turned fifteen, I thought he was demon-possessed. He was like a different kid! But I simply handled it better because I’d grown up.”

Shelly nodded, not sure what to say, trying to understand Patti’s way of thinking. It sounded so foreign to her ears; just the opposite of the way things had been in her home. The older she got, the meaner Father was, and the more childlike Mother became. The only one who seemed to mature was her, and there were still days when all she wanted to do was curl up in the bottom of her sheets with her flashlight, hiding away from the world, her breath making the air moist around her face until she thought she might suffocate. Even then, she wouldn’t un-burrow. She’d just stick an arm out from under the covers and open up an air tunnel just long enough to replenish her supply. Sometimes, although she’d never admit it, she still did it, usually on those days when Father came home in her dreams, reminding her that she was still a nothing.

She felt a prickle in her armpits and pressure behind her eyes when she thought too long about Father, and made a concerted effort to move the conversation along. “I think, in some ways, even sadder are the stories about children whose parents hurt them unintentionally. Not only are they devastated by whatever accident has happened, but then they have to endure the police investigation and Child Protective Services.” She took a small bite of eggs before continuing; they really were good. “Years ago, I worked on the chart of this child who’d been burned by liquid drain cleaner. Her father had poured it in the tub and closed the bathroom door so it could sit for the allotted period of time, but the toddler got the door open somehow. They discovered her just as she was leaning over the tub, so they thought she was okay until she started screaming. What they hadn’t realized until it was too late, was that she’d pulled the shower curtain up and over the lip of the tub, then leaned against it. The cleaner on the curtain soaked into the front of her shirt and started burning her little belly. To make matters worse, the panicking mom peeled the shirt off up over her head without thinking, and the stuff spread to the little girl’s face and eyes. Because of the pattern of the burns, there was a criminal investigation, photos were taken, CPS was called in, and the couple was held under surveillance in the hospital until everyone accepted their story as truth. The doctor I transcribed for followed-up with the little girl’s burns for weeks.”

“What a terrible ordeal.” Patti leaned back in her chair, shaking her head. “I can’t even begin to imagine what that must have been like for those poor parents.”

Willow stood abruptly, reaching for Patti’s empty plate. Her eyes glistened in her pale face, the flush from cooking completely gone. “Are you finished or would you like some more eggs? There are more muffins, too, but we ate all the bacon on the first round.”

“Oh.” Patti sat up, clearly surprised by Willow’s behavior. “I’m sorry, Willow. Did we say something to upset you?”

“Oh no, of course not!” But her eyes were too bright, too wide, and Shelly wasn’t fooled. “I just thought since I was getting up to get seconds, I’d offer some to you as well. What about you, Shelly?” She glanced down at her plate. It still held almost her full serving of uneaten eggs, a strip of bacon, and half her muffin; she’d been too busy talking to eat. She drew her plate closer to her instinctively.

“I’m good for now,” She stated slowly, wondering what had gotten into Willow.

They sat in silence while the red-haired woman bustled around the kitchen, refilling her teacup, and scooping the last of the eggs onto her plate before returning to the table. Shelly felt somehow responsible for the rift in the conversation. She had to say something.

“Willow, I haven’t really thanked you for helping me this morning. What made you come back by my place after I was so…rude to you?”

“Oh, Shelly. You had to ask.” Willow smiled again, all traces of withdrawal gone from her face. “I was hoping you’d already left for work and I could sneak over and leave you an ‘I’m sorry’ note. I felt so terribly about barging in on you and making you late, and I didn’t want our relationship starting off on the wrong foot.” She laughed, her loud guffaw not irritating the way it was that morning, and pointed at Shelly’s elevated leg. “Now look at you! Talk about starting off on the wrong foot!”

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Chapter 5

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April Shadows Sanctuary

© Jameswimsel | Stock Free Images

After exchanging phone numbers, Patti promised to check in with her before she and Richard went to bed, then again when she got up in the morning, assuring Shelly that she regularly awoke around 6 or 6:30. “But don’t hesitate to call if you need anything at all—and I mean, anything at all, Shelly—in the middle of the night, you hear?” Patti patted her cheek. “I mean it.”

From her comfortable position on the sofa, she watched them go. Her knee was propped up on a stack of pillows and Willow had made her an elderberry leaf poultice. “It’s a slight irritant that will stimulate circulation to the area, helping the body absorb and distribute the pooled blood that makes the bruise. All that increased blood flow also encourages healing to damaged tissue. So use the ice until you need a break, then spread some of this on a wet wash cloth, heat it up in the microwave—not too hot, mind you—and put it over the bruised area. It really does wonders, I’m telling you. You’ll see.” She must have seen the skepticism in Shelly’s eyes. “My mom taught me this. I’ve used it my whole life. It works.”

Willow let the cats out of the bedroom, leaned over to hug her briefly, then pulled the front door closed behind her and Patti.

“You still smell like jasmine, Willow.” She spoke into the aromatic stillness they left behind.

Shelly was alone again. She stroked Mr. Tibbles from the tips of his ears to the tip of his tail. She poked at Digits with her good foot; she’d finally taken herself out of her self-imposed exile and was threading her way around the legs of the coffee table. Molly Mia jumped up on the back of the couch cushions and walked along them until she got to her favorite spot, then curled into a ball, her tail twitching ever so often against Shelly’s shoulder. Twinky-Dink still hadn’t come out of the bedroom.

Not only was she alone, but she was suddenly very, very lonely.

It had been so nice just to sit and visit with the other two women. Sure, there were those few moments of discomfort in the conversation, but in some ways, it made Shelly feel better to know that Patti and Willow weren’t already best friends, that they were still getting to know each other, too. It made her feel more like she was on equal footing with them. And what a strange feeling that was. Equal footing? Had she ever felt like she was playing on the same level as anyone else? Tonight, with these two very different women, she’d felt like she belonged.

She wanted to feel that way again. “I suppose we could change our sleeping schedule, couldn’t we?” she asked out loud, for the first time feeling slightly foolish talking to her cats as though they cared what she said. “Do you think we could learn to sleep at night and work and play during the day like normal people?” The thought made her scalp tingle a little. She’d never slept well at night, so adjusting to the cats’ nocturnal schedules hadn’t been a stretch. Going back to ‘normal people’ schedules might be easier said than done, but if it meant holding on to that feeling of belonging, she’d make it happen. Besides, with Father gone, there was no reason to fear sleeping at night.

She laid her head back on the sofa cushions behind her, bumping against Molly Mia’s back. Her hand rested on the open pages of the book she’d been reading for the last hour or two. But her lack of sleep was catching up with her, and she was just getting ready to reach over and turn off the lamp on the end table beside her when she heard his footsteps outside. Father.

No, not Father. Her thoughts had been focused on him so much over the last several hours, that his name was the first one to pop into her mind. But if not Father, then it had to be The Shadow Man. And suddenly, The Shadow Man mattered to her… because Willow Goodhope and Patti Davis and her husband, Richard, mattered to her. Because Joe Sanderson, and heart-rock Kathy mattered to her.

“What should I do, Mr. Tibble?” Should she raise the alarm? Call Patti and Richard? They were most certainly already in bed. And what could they do, what with Richard’s limitations? But shouldn’t she at least warn Willow? On the other hand, what if he had nothing to do with Willow at all? What if Kathy really was a crackhead and he was her dealer? If that was the case, Shelly needed to call Eddie, the park manager.

The clock on the wall said it was nearly 10:45 pm. She knew she’d probably wake him up, but it had to be done. Picking up her phone, she dialed the man’s number. When his gruff voice answered so abruptly, she almost panicked and hung up.

“Hello? Who is this?” Eddie didn’t sound amused by her continued silence. She had to get it out before her throat closed up.

“It’s me, Eddie. Shelly, over in Space 8. There’s a strange man walking along the driveway back here. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen him, and it’s always after dark.”

“What? A man?” Eddie sounded really grumpy now. “He’s probably visiting Kathy. Or Willow, the new girl down in 12. I’m sure it’s all okay, Shelly.”

He was going to hang up and do nothing. She had to stop him. “No! No, Eddie. It’s not okay. He shouldn’t be here. He’s being sneaky and he’s not visiting anyone. He’s just wandering around back here.”

The line was so quiet, she was certain he’d already hung up, but then she heard him sigh, letting out his breath so that his lips made a quiet raspberry sound. “Fine. I’ll come check it out. But if he’s a friend of Kathy’s, you owe me.”

“Wait. I owe you? I owe you what?” No. This was not Father. She didn’t owe Eddie anything except space rental. Her trailer was paid for, free and clear.

“It’s a saying, Shelly. Relax. I’m going after your boogie man now.” Then he did hang up.

A few minutes later, she heard his heavy boots clomping along over the bridge and past her home, his footsteps big and bold on the gravel. There was no way The Shadow Man could miss the fact that he was being followed.

It wasn’t long before she heard Eddie’s footsteps coming back. She could see through the narrow slits between the blinds, the beam of his flashlight cutting swatches of light in the darkness outside. She wondered if he’d stop at her place, but he just kept walking, back across the little bridge to the front of the property. Had he found The Shadow Man?

Her phone rang. Eddie’s voice was still raspy, but he sounded more alert. “Well, Shelly, I think I saw your boogie man. I was almost to the laundry shed when I saw a guy cross the bridge over there. I followed him, and he left the property by going past Doc’s place and out onto the street. He knew I was on to him. I don’t think he’ll be back, but I’ll be watching for him now. And I’ll let Doc know, too. He’s a light sleeper and pays close attention to what goes on here.” He paused briefly, and Shelly wondered if he expected her to say something. “Can you tell me anything more about him? Do you know what he looks like?”

“No. Just that he always comes around between ten and midnight. And, at least the times I’ve noticed him, he’s come over the bridge on foot, so he must be passing your place, too. I didn’t worry about it at first, thinking he might be someone’s friend, like you said, but now I don’t know. He’s slow, too, like he’s being careful. And he sticks to the shadows. He never seems to stay very long, either. It’s almost as though he’s just checking on something. Or someone. I’m sorry I can’t tell you more.”

“Okay. Well, thanks for letting me know.” He cleared his throat, then tried to sound reassuring. “We’ll watch for him. Don’t you worry.”

“Thank you.” She wasn’t sure what else to say, so she returned the phone to its cradle.

In the stillness that followed, a smile began to tug at her mouth. She’d done it. She’d reached out to her new friends. They may never know it, and she wasn’t about to tell them about The Shadow Man—she didn’t want to frighten them needlessly—but she’d taken the initiative, and the first step of contributing to these new relationships. They all needed each other, this odd, mismatched collection of people at The Coach House Trailer Park. She’d fooled no one but herself into believing that she didn’t need anyone, that she was better off alone, that she was complete in her own little world.

No, it was time to open her doors and let others into her life. It was time to release Mother and the guilt she felt every time she thought of the pitiful life the woman had led. It was time to refuse Father entrance into her sanctuary, once and for all.

“Get out,” she whispered, softly, tentatively. “Get out.” Her voice grew. “Get out!” Something terrible and wild surged up inside of her, and she wanted to stand up, to run, to tear at her skin to let it out. She could do none of that, not with her banged-up knee, so she grabbed a pillow and held it to her face.

“Get out! Get out! Get out!” She screamed it over and over, not three times, but a hundred times or more, until her voice grew hoarse and the pillow moist with her harsh breath and debriding tears. When she finally let it fall to the floor at her feet, her hands flopped limply on the sofa beside her, and she laid her head back, eyes closed in release. “This is my house, my home, my sanctuary. You, Father, are no longer welcome here.”

The blinds at the back door clattered lightly. “Come here, Digits,” she called. “Mommy loves you. I’m not angry.” Then she laughed out loud. “I’m not angry anymore.”

Digits, the cat with only three toes on her front left foot, stood up and stretched. She’d been curled up on the floor at Shelly’s feet for some time. Molly Mia followed suit, leaving her perch on the back of the sofa to follow her friend. Mr. Tibbles stayed in her lap, not even lifting his head during Shelly’s tirade.

“Twinky-Dink? Is that you back there?” She turned to look over her shoulder at the slider, the plastic strips still stirring slightly, then down the hall toward the open door of her bedroom. The timid little cat was on the bed, playing with one of the catnip mice Kathy had left on her doorstep back in January.

“Father?” She sat up straighter and listened. The blinds stilled and there was nothing. Her heart didn’t race. Her scalp didn’t tingle. Her breathing stayed slow and steady.

Sanctuary.

“Goodbye, Father,” she whispered. “Peace, Mother.”

She couldn’t wait for the shadows of this night to fade into morning, knowing that Willow and Patti would be a part of the new day.

Of her new day.

April Shadows Sanctuary

© Typograph | Stock Free Images

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The End of Part 4: April Shadows

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I hope you enjoyed meeting Shelly Little of Space #8 at the Coach House Trailer Park, in Part 4: April Shadows.

Do come again in May to meet Eddie, the park manager, in Part 5: May Enchantment.

Be Still

Be still… and rest.

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:14

Be still… and hold on to hope.

The Levites calmed all the people, saying, “Be still, for this is a holy day. Do not grieve.” Nehemiah 8:11

Be still… and wait patiently, without bitterness, without envy, without malice.

Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.” Psalm 37:7

Be still… and believe that God is God.

He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10

Be still… and be in AWE!

Be still before the Lord, all mankind, because he has roused himself from his holy dwelling.” Zechariah 2:13

Do you know what comes right before this verse?

“Shout and be glad, Daughter Zion. For I am coming, and I will live among you,” declares the Lord. “Many nations will be joined with the Lord in that day and will become my people. I will live among you and you will know that the Lord Almighty has sent me to you. The Lord will inherit Judah as his portion in the holy land and will again choose Jerusalem.” (vs. 10-12)

Celebration! Shouts of Victory! 

But in the midst of celebration, He calls us to be still… and acknowledge

Epicness

of WHO HE IS.

Because the King of Kings, the Lord of Lords, the Creator of all Heaven and Earth, has roused himself from His holy dwelling, to come live among us.

And He chooses to do so because

He’s epically in love with us.

With me. With you.

Every moment of stillness;

                     ~the silence between breaths

                                           ~the pause between sentences

                                                               ~the quiet between page-turns

                                                                                    ~the first–and last–waking moments

is another opportunity to BE STILL…AND BE IN LOVE WITH HIM.